Pokemon Unova Expansion
by E-arth Duelist
Summary: Third in the expansion series. They're back, folks. Run and be scared...or join the fun! New format, new region, and for once, new recurring jokes.
1. Shadow Xboxing

**before we begin, i would like to thank you personally for reading the expansion series. I would like to, but I can't so here is a group thank you. Thank you. Now on to the third series of the expansion series. And this time around, we have new special segments, new jokes (i know, the stale ones will be missed, but...maybe some will return) and a whole new style of writing them.**

Pokemon Unova Expansion

Chapter 1: Shadow Xboxing

Aspertia City:

"This is...unexpected" Walker said as they saw the sign on the door of the pokemon lab. "Professor Juniper got sick so i guess we take the pokemon we want?"

"Actually, I'll be giving you your pokemon" professor Hayley said, leading them inside. "It turns out that since I was so helpful in Sinnoh, I was promoted to Unova region professor while Professor Juniper is sick. And if I'm correct about the mixture I placed in her morning coffee...she should be out for maybe two weeks." She smiled to herself with a semi evil grin.

"She scares me" TJ whispered.

Hayley grabbed three pokeballs. "Kalvin, you can have the grass pokemon, Snivy." Kalvin took the pokeball and placed it into his pocket. "For Jerry, Oshawott." He was handed a pokeball and Chatot gave a thumbs up sign.

"Cap'n, we got ourselves an Oshawott."

"Yeah we did, Chatot" Jerry said back.

"And for walker..." hayley said, looking inside her bag of twix. "Um...here." She handed him a twix bar.

"I think the script said tricks, not twiks" Walker replied lamely, eating the candy bar. "Twixy fresh."

Hayley blinked. "Oh..." She grabbed the other bag and pulled out a last pokeball. "Here Walker. You get a starter to. Meet Tepig." He took the pokeball from her.

"What about me?" TJ asked, frowning.

"You get...a barnd new running gag!" hayley said with emphasis. "Emphasis, you can go now. You ruined the scene." Emphasis sighed and slunk away, sobbing.

"Awkward..." TJ whispered. "Now, what is my new running gag?" Hayley picked up a triangle and handed it to TJ. "I carry triangles now?" he asked.

"Let's just say, you now can get all sorts of instruments" Hayley replied. "Unlike the Sinnoh region that only sells banjos for music, unova has many instruments."

"Alright!" TJ shouted as his pachirisu let itself out of the pokeball and shocked him. "Not cool...not cool..." Hayley led the others to a machine where they placed their pokeballs inside and sent them to professor elm in johto to...wait a second...

"We didn't save professor elm again" Jerry groaned. "He gets kidnapped more than princess peach."

"Cap'n, maybe we should stop sending our pokemon to him" Chatot suggested.

"Good idea."

"I guess we should put them in my storage bin" Hayley suggested. They each placed their pokemon inside until they had the following. Kalvin kept Snivy, Jerry kept Oshawott and Chatot, Walker kept Tepig and Tj had pachirisu.

"I suggest we have a battle" Kalvin said, tossing out Snivy after they had left the lab.

"I suggest we throw out this script" jerry said, which Chatot agreed to. **from here on, this script will be handled as random and unthought out. all of the actors are real people and not spokespeople, despite the fact that this is not a commercial. If this makes no sense, then you are understanding the material well and by this point in the series you should be used to the utter randomness of this. Over.**

All of a suddeny suddeness, a mysterious figure approached. he looked like Jenkins, but he seemed...different. Wait, it was Jenkins. "..."

"Came for british butt whooping?" Kalvin asked.

"I think Jenkins wants to battle against Jerry this time" Walker said, reading his mime speak. "Either that or he insulted xbox."

"That bas...wait, I don't care" Jerry said, taking out his pokeball. "Oshawott, let's see what you can do!" Jenkins responded by using his Mr. Mime. asically, jenkins threw out jenkins.** Mime joke 1.**

"Do it for xbox!" kalvin shouted. "Use Oshawott's special moves!"

Hayley looked at serebii. "Uh, this is bad."

"Oshawott, use water gun!" Jerry yelled. Oshawott tried to shoot a jet of water, but it failed. "Oshawott...oh no."

"Cap'n, I think Oshawott may be sick!" Chatot yelled urgently. "We need to do an operation."

"I am a doctor" Jerry replied, showing off his internet obatined license. Suddenly, he and his parrot were in an operating room, looking at Oshawott.

"Doctor Cap'n, it's not looking good" Chatot said. "The patient is failing his move."

"I was afraid of this" Jerry sighed. "There is nothing left but a scalpel technique. If I make an incision..."

"Osha!" the water starter yelled, trying to break free.

Jerry stared at Oshawott. "What? My drink won't open so I'm using my scalpel. But seriously, I don't know why he can't use water gun."

"It's because he doesn't know it yet" hayley explained, bringing Jerry and Chatot back to the battle.

"Oh..." Jerry said slowly.

"I knew that" Chatot spoke. "Didn't you, cap'n?"

"Of course I did" Jerry said. "What does it know?"

"...tackle. and tail whip."

Jerry bit his lip. "Game over." Mr. Mime used Magical Leaf to defeat Oshawott in one move.

"I think he just won" Kalvin said, arms folded. "You lost to a mime. That's almost as bad as a girl losing her virginity to beiber." **mime joke 2.**

Jerry frowned. "Yeah, I know."

"Cp'n doesn't reminding of the crushing, horrible, embarressing..."

"Enough, Chatot" Jerry said.

"...sorry cap'n." Jenkins had run off, and the gang looked at Hayley.

"Huh? Oh, the next area...route 19."

**On the next episode:**

Walker: What is that? A zubat?

Jerry: It's kinda cool. I'mma gonna catch it!

TJ: (Hears rustle) who is following us?

?: ...

**Next time!**


	2. Buy an Oshawott!

Pokemon Unova Expansion

Chapter 2: Buy an Oshawott!

Arriving in the woods of route 19, the gang was bickering about an important topic.

"Xbox!" Kalvin and TJ yelled. TJ was carrying his triangle, nicknamed Tri-force.

"Playstation!" Jerry, Chatot and Hayley yelled.

"Nintendo..." Walker meakly said. "Who am I kidding? Playstation!"

"Playsation wins" jerry said, sticking his tongue out.

"No...xbox is better!" Kalvin yelled. "We have Halo and Gears of War. And i think fable." The conversation was interupted by a Woobat swopping down and snatching tj's latest musical instrument.

"tri-force!" tj cried. "Even if it isn't a banjo, I still lose my stuff."

"What is that?" Walker asked.

"It looks cool" Jerry said. "Imma catch it!"

"Good idea, Cap'n. I'll fight for you."

"No...let's use Oshawott!" Jerry threw out his new water type starter pokemon, who was now dressed like a buccaneer.

"Osha!" he cried.

"Oshawott, use Tackle!" Jerry yelled. Oshawott ran at Woobat and smacked into the bat pokemon.

"Woo?" she asked, confused. "Bat!" Using confusion, Woobat sent Oshawott flying into a bush.

"That bush may be wet" Kalvin said.

"Kalvin, that was very inappropriate" Chatot chastised. "Very inppropriate for a t-rated fanfiction. Very..."

"I meant because it may have learned water gun" Kalvin said.

"Oh...well never mind then. cap'n, try to attack it with water gun." Jerry nodded.

"Water Gun!" Oshawott emerged from the indeed wet bush, took out a water pistol and fired a stream of water at Woobat. "Nice work, Oshawott. You learned water gun."

"Osha..." Oshawott growled at Woobat, who remained on the ground. Jerry took out a pokeball and threw it at woobat, catching it with three shakes.

Tj noticed a rustle in the bushes. "Who's there?" he asked, turning around. The bushes continued to rustle as a strong breeze blew by. "I...guess it was nothing. My Triangle!" He ran to find it, but when Oshawott used his water pistol, it had been sent flying to somewhere unknown.

**middle of the forest:**

"I'm in Unova and ready for the big tournament!" Bonzo shouted, Puffy by his side. A random tri-angle flew through the air and hit him in the face. "Ouch..."

**back to the main characters:**

"..." a figure watched them from the bushes as they started moving again toward the next town. Silently, the figure, dressed in camo, started following the group.

"So, how about a battle between your Woobat and my Tepig?" Walker asked.

Jerry nodded. "I haven't been able to test it out yet. Go, Woobat!" The female bat appeared and Chatot lowered the boom.

"Hey, you can sonar my sight...wait, hear very well my...Cap'n, my inappropriate puns aren't working!"

"Read the manual i gave you" Jerry suggested.

"I did" Chatot said, stressing out. "There isn't anything about bats."

"can't help you then" Jerry sighed.

"Go, tepig!" walker yelled.

"Oh look, I believe that is an umbreon, I do" Chatot joked, causing Jerry to laugh at the obvious pokemon joke. "Yes, that was a funny one, cap'n."

"Or a meowth" Jerry said, still laughing. "Woobat, Gust!" The bat flapped her wings and shot a tornado at Tepig.

"Tackle!" Walker cried. Tepig ran at the tornado and crashed into it. And as it did, it was sent flying into a tree. "Nice work..."

"I blame Jenkins. You can never trust a mime." **Mime joke 3!**

**somewhere in unova:**

Jenkins sneezed silently. he figured somebody had said his name and continued onward to someplace else.

**And we're back...after this commercial break!**

**commercial:**

**Tired of your inability to laugh? tried of not being entertained easily? Are you simply tired of me asking questions? Then get yourself an Oshawott. This all purpose pokemon can amuse like most pokemon can't! Need a glass of water? No problem! Need a swimming pool filled in? No problem! Want to blast a jet of water at a friend's face, but your water gun won't do the job? It's your friend's problem! But, only if you have an Oshawott. Get yourself one at your local research center. Some assembly may be required. Any accidents from feeding it, cleaning it or mistaking it for a plush toy will not be cause of reimbursement of your money. Shipping and handling is non-refundable.**

**Like that commercial? Spoil sport. Fine, we're back.**

Tepig was retrieved from the tree and the battle continued. "Tepig! Use Tackle!" tepig ran at Woobat.

"Counter with Confusion!" Jerry shouted. Woobat showed tepig a picture of the sun, then a picture of the moon, then both at once, then sun, moon, sun, moon...Tepig began to stumble around in a confused state.

"You caused it to be confused!" Walker shouted. "Or drunk..."

"That is not drunk" Kalvin replied. "I should know. I've been drunk before."

"No new news there" TJ said.

"You wanna face Penmcstabbystab the 18th?" Kalvin shouted, drawing his pen.

"Is it mightier than my sword?" Tj asked, drawing a sword from a stone.

"You guys are nuts" Hayley laughed, smiling. Suddenly, there was movement from the bushes as the figure lept out and ran at them. "Everyone, it's an ambush!" Everyone ducked, but Walker was tackled to the ground.

"Hi walker, my beloved husband!" Whitney yelled in excitment.

"...I'm not your husband" Walker sighed, crawling away.

"Come back here, you joker!" Whitney picked him up and began carrying him. The others stayed back, amused.

"She's stronger than he is" Jerry laughed quietly.

"Cap'n, I think she may be part hulk and he be part paper" Chatot joked as well.

"Obviously, this won't be good" Hayley said, smirking and pointing.

"What's going on?" Kalvin asked, looking to see Dahlia. "Ha! This is either going to be exciting or terrafying."

"Who the hello are you?" Whitney asked, dropping Walker hard on the ground.

"Ouch..."

**On the next episode:**

**Walker: handcuffed? To you?**

**Kalvin: Whip him good!**

**Walker: Is this a bondage episode?**

**Jerry: That's what she said**

**Walker:...trust me, these sentances are not what they seem**


	3. handcuffs and lots of Whipping

Pokemon Unova Expansion

Chapter 3: handcuffs and lots of Whipping

Whitney's eyes filled with rage. "This girl...is this the Dahlia that I heard about on the boat ride over? Because she looks like a...!"

**for the reason of t-rated content, we cannot allow you to hear such words coming from sweet, innocent whitney. Instead, let's roll this clip of oshawott chasing his tail. I have just heard that oshawott may or may not have a tail so ignore that and continue the story.**

Dahlia blinked at the strong language. "My my, she's crazy. Walker, I'm here for our date. Like you asked of me on Pokebook."

Walker smiled and tried to get up. "Oh yeah..." Whitney slammed her foot on his back.

"You can't seduce my man!" she cried, angry. "As you can see, he loves me! Me." Her voice grew deep. "ME!"

"She's scary..." Chatot whispered. "Cap'n, might we leave them be and go onward to Floccesy Town?"

Jerry nodded. "Of course. Guys, let's go." They left the three and headed into town. Floccesy town was a small twon with some stuff. Yeah, pretty bland. I've never seen it myself, but i've yet to get the games, so i'm making this crap up. Three trainers were in a ring in the center of town, calling out challengers.

"Any punks able to defeat the 5 S gang?" one asked, wearing a green afro.

"Nah way, man. These guys are all scared of our power" the second replied, wearing a red afro.

"This is boring" the third said. He yawned and his blue afro blew in the wind. Oh yeah, didn';t know there was wind, did you? Did you?

Jerry took out a pokeball. "Hey Suck x5! We'll battle you." He watched Kalvin and TJ also pick out there pokeballs and released Oshawott, Snivy and pachirisu.

"They are going to fight against Spike, Stone and Stick!" someone shouted. "The terrible three of Floccesy Town!"

"The terrible afro wearers" kalvin said, frowning. "hayley, take my coat."

"You don't have a coat" Hayley replied.

Kalvin handed her 20 dollars. "Buy me a gold coat and then hand it to me, then take it" he said.

"Throw out your pokemon!" TJ yelled. He handed hayley 30 dollars. "I need a new instrument. Make it a good one, no half priced bullbacons."

"Bull bacon is delicious" Jerry remarked. "Now hurry up, punks. Cap'n Jerry needs to whip some thugs."

"That's my cap'n!" Chatot cheered.

"This is going to be good!" Spike shouted, sending out Pansage. "I'll defeat you three on my own."

"Don't let yourself take all the fun" Stone grinned, throwing out Pansear.

Stick sent out Panpour, yawning. "Maybe we should be more cautious..."

"No way!" Spike yelled. "Let's rumble!"

**In the3 forest...no, i'm not going to correct that 3. Read around it.**

"You handcuffed yourself to me?" Walker shouted, angry.

"Now technically, we're on a date too!" she said, smiling at her clever stalking skillz. Again, not fixing that.

Dahlia blinked. "This could still be...fun..." She set up a picnic and Whitney began gobbling the food. "That's for everyone,y ou know?"

Whitney frowned, spitting out a salad. "There you go. Oh! Walker, do you want some?" She took a sandwich and crammed it down his throat. "I think he doesn't like it. He seems to be hacking."

"Try choking..." Dahlia sighed, thorwing out her Blaziken. "Blaze Kick!" she yelled in a yelly voice. Blaziken smacked into Walker's stomach, giving him the heimlich thing, feet style.

"...blah! Whitney, you're psychotic. Can't we just eat in peace?" he asked, no pleaded.

Whitney sighed. "Fine...now where did i put the key...um, I didn't bring the key..."

Walker face fell, upset. "Never mind..." Dahlia calmly took a cheesefri from the basket and ate it.

"It's cheesy."

**Floccesy Town square...no, cubed! Take that, math!**

Jerry and the crew were winning and Hayley was back with a gold jacket for Kalvin and a Violin for TJ. His pachirisu was hit by a water gun attack from Panpour and knocked out. "I will now play a song from my heart until the battle ends" he said with sadness, playing the violin...badly.

"It hurts me ears, Cap'n" Chatot complained, sulking.

"Then we have to win, quickly! Oshawott, water gun!" oshawott took out his signature water pistol and squirted Spike in the eyes.

"Not in the face!"

"That's what she said" Jerry and Chatot said together, fist/feather bumping.

"Snivy, whip them with Vine Whip!" kalvin yelled. Snivy whipped Pansage and Pansear fast, but whipped Panpour slowly...very slowly...if one was stoned. In reality, it took 2.35124245 and 4/9 seconds to be defeated. Pansear lost to water gun and Pansage was all that was left!

"Use Tackle!" Jerry and Kalvin said together. The two starters tackled with all their might, defeating Pansage and avoiding being whipped like creme.

"We lost?" Spike yelled, surprised.

"You won this round" Stone cried. "But, we will be back!" Stick simply waved goodbye and they fled the town.

"We won" hayley said. "So now what?"

"Um...Walker has the guidebook..." Jerry replied, unsure of what to do. "Let's go save his bacon. And when we finish eating that, let's save him as well." An old man jumped out at them.

"BUY MY MAPS!"

**On the next episode:**

**Team Plasma Grunt: We are here to liberate your pokemon.**

**N: your show is about to be cancelled. For the good of all pokemon!**

**Walker: Anybody going to cut these handcuffs off of me?**

**Hayley: (Takes out a chainsaw)**

**Walker: meep.**

**tj: I wonder if I can get a strike...**

**next episode!**


	4. Liberty of Pokemonby cancellation

Pokemon Unova Expansion

Chapter 4: Liberty of Pokemon...by cancellation

Walker and a still handcuffed Whitney were walking through Floccesy town. "You...are a nutcase."

"You say the sweetest things about me" the stalker sighed. Walker smacked his forehead, causing the handcuffs to jostle and Whitney stumbled.

"No whitney-pult so that will have to do" he muttered, chuckling a little. He looked up to see some men and women dressed in grey suits walking through town with a man having green hair following them. "I guess the circus has come for TJ" he said aloud.

Jerry and the crew wandered through the small...no large town. Yeah, it's the new jubilife city. "Kalvin, sniff him out."

"I'm not a canine" Kalvin frowned. "Though i admit that when I'm drunk...i can find a giant bus on the freeway."

"That's not special!" tj protested.

Hayley rolled her eyes. "TJ...he's a pro. What can you do? Break instruments? That's not going to help us..." TJ threw his violin and it homed in on Walker.

"Shield!" He placed Whitney in front of him, then thought better of it. "I can't do that to a girl..." He tripped her from behind and she went down in time to dodge the dangerous violin. However, Walker didn't think it through as he fell as well.

Jerry and the others ran over to him. "Taking more symbols I see" he joked.

"Aye cap'n, he is, I see" Chatot joked with him.

"I fell" Walker corrected them. "Anyways, can you guys break these cuffs?"

"Where is Dahlia?" TJ asked, smirking at Hayley. She huffed and crossed her arms.

"Dahlia enjoyed our...three person date and left to challenge herself."

"Threesome..." Jerry and Chatot whispered.

"Knock it off you two!" walker shouted. The men in grey stepped over to them.

"You three are causing alot of noise."

"Ok, who called the aline hunters?" Kalvin asked.

"I think they are more like mime hunters" Hayley remarked, noticing a number above her head.** mime joke #4. **"Jenkins has got to be ticked off right now..."

"We are of the group Team Plasma" the green haired man said. "My name is N. Our goal is to liberate all pokemon. We saw your battle in the square earlier. Will you liberate your pokemon?"

Oshawott burst out of his pokeball, holding an oshawott pictured rebel flag. "Traitor!" Chatot squaked. Oshawott apologized and was returned to his pokeball.

"Liberate our pokemon?" Walker asked. "That would end Pokemon Expansion."

"Exactly" N said. "It is unfair to Pokemon everywhere that this fanfiction exists. Therefore, we will cancel your show!" He looked at two grunts. "Attack them. Force them to surrender the fanfic to us."

"Our show isn't going to be cancelled by you grey freaks" Jerry said.

**Cancelled.**

"...never mind, that's the end of the show, thanks for watching and no more expansion ever... wait a second! No!"

TJ had a pokeball out. "I'm ready to fight them."

Hayley shook her head. "Not yet you aren't." She handed him a pokeball. "I was saving it for a rainy day." It started to rain. "And there it is. That's a Darumaka, one of the most mexican pokemon out there."

"...it's raining. Wouldn't it be better to use pachirisu or have Jerry use his oshawott to save the day?" Team Plasma sent out a Patrat and a Purrloin. "And why are we fighting anyway? Is there some deeper meaning to this? What is that deeper meaning?"

"Throw the pokeball!" everyone yelled, including N.

"...sorry, i got carried away."

TJ tossed out darumaka. "Wait...before I attack, Team Plasma wants to liberate pokemon because we use them unfairly...yet they are using pokemon to get their point out...isn't that...?"

"Stupid? yes" Walker agreed. "Now somebody cut me lose from her!" Whitney was hugging him tightly and trying to kiss his neck.

Hayley sighed and took out a chainsaw. "And cut!" The chainsaw cut through the handcuffs and freed both of them.

"Yes! Oh and Whitney?"

"Yesh, darlihng?"

"...trap door!" Walker shouted, pulling a lever. Whitney was sent into a pitfall. "I'm glad there really was a trap door there."

"That's where the villiagers hide their halloween candy" Kurt said, poking into the chapter.

"This is kinda serious here" Walker said lamely.

"In my day, we respected our..."

"The show is on the line!" TJ yelled. "Darumaka, use Incinerate!" The fire type shot a burst of fire at patart. The attack never reached the opponent though due to the rain.

"That was weak" a plasma man said.

"We'll show you how to fight!" a plasma girl roared. "Purrloin, use Sand Attack." The cvat sent sand directly into Darumaka's eyes, causing it cry in pain.

"That's playing mean!" TJ pouted. "I have an idea...Hayley, Jerry, Kalvin...set them up."

Hayley walked over to a plasma grunt. "You move here" she said, moving him a little to the right or left. Kalvin and jerry did that with the other plasma grunts and placed N and the pokemon in the middle.

"Why are you moving us around like bowling pins...? Oh this isn't good..."

"Darumaka bowling lane one" TJj announced, picking up darumaka and slinging him into the them. "Rollout!" he shouted as Darumaka slammed into the pins...er, people, sending them flying into the air. "Huh, a strike. Guys, i may have found my game." A moment later, a cannonball landed at his feet. "...that would have hurt. very hurt."

A girl with blonde hair and a portugese accent looked at Jerry, eyes glaring. "I am Esmerelda, captain of the best ship in unova. I have heard about you, Captain Jerry and how you are a big deal in sinnoh. I challenge you to a captain's battle!"

"A captain's battle..." Jerry said, teeth grinding. "I wonder what that is?"

**On the next episode...chapter...something...**

**Jerry: Well, those are some hard balls.**

**Chatot: Um...Captain?"**

**Jerry: Cannonballs, Chatot. What, did you think I meant...?**

**Chatot: Um, not what I meant. Cap'n, I think you hit Eusine on purpose.**

**Jerry: At least he didn't get hurt!**

**Chatot: He's nothing but hurt...**


	5. Story of a Captain Detective

Pokemon Unova Expansion

Chapter 5: Story of a Captain Detective

"A true pirate duel" Tj said, looking at the two ships squaring off.

"What are the rules of this game?" Jerry asked.

Eesmerlda smiled. "Three minigames."

"Is this mario party?" he asked.

"It's a me, Chatot!" his parrot chimed in, frowning. "sorry cap'n. it seemed appropriate."

"Our whole slogan is inappropriacy" Jerry explained. "Let's not stray from what works."

"Our first game will be spades" Esmerleda said, smiling. "Our second game will be cannon blasting. We each try to blow up a small rock with an apple on it." She pointed to a very small rock in the water. "And the third...will be a pokemon battle. Win two out of three and you'll earn my respect."

"I would rather earn a date" Jerry joked. Chatot high winged him.

"Enough games, let's start with our game of spades!" Esmerlda yelled. She tossed out a full deck of cards on each ship.

"There seems to be a lot of thinking going on" Walker guessed from the shore.

"How can you tell?" Hayley asked.

"Jerry is drinking from his captain cup. He has a plan."

"I dont have a plan" Jerry said to Chatot, drinking from his second captain cup. "I only drink from this when i don't have a plan. How can i defeat her in russian card toss?"

"This is spades..." Chatot frowned, sweatdrop forming on his head.

"Oh...gin!" he cried, defeating her spades.

"You shouted gin..." Esmerleda said, frowning. "That was a good trick. You used a different word to distract me and make me think you were spouting the first word that came to mind."

Jerry blinked. "Ex...actly...yeah, my whole plan!"

_'liar' _Chatot thought. _'still, the cap'n does it so well. almost as well as a movie star from two and a half men.'_

"Now for cannon blasting" Esmerleda announced softly. She pointed a cannon at a rock and fired. The cannon exploded a giant ball from it and it destroyed the rock. "Now for you to try."

"But...you just blew it up" Jerry said, confused.

"There's another little rock out there" Kalvin observed.

"It's so small!" Hayley laughed.

"That's what...bucket of chicken! She really did say that!" Jerry cried. he fired his cannon at the rock and missed, the cvannonball sailing through the city. "Whjoops. At least no one got hurt. He heard an explosion and noticed a very rich mansion get destroyed.

"That hurt!" Eusine yelled.

"Cap'n..."

"yep, it's a very good thing nobody got hurt" Jerry smiled, looking away.

"I need medical amputation!" Eusine cried. "Oh the pain!"

"Cap'n..." Chatot tried to say.

"Nobody at all got hurt in that explosion" Jerry replied, winking at Chatot.

"Cap'n...you are simply being cruel, aren't you?" Jerry shrugged. "cap'n...that was brilliant."

Esmerelda held out a pokeball. "Final round, my basculin challenges any of your pokemon." She tossed out the pirahna looking pokemon.

"That fish looks a mite scary" Chatot frowned, a little scared. He heard a familiar ching and looked to see Kim riding on a speeding water cycle, her chingling out. "Well, gorgeous chingling came to watch my battle" Chatot said in a cool voice, slicking back his feathers.

"What are you talking about?" Jerry asked, turning the ship to the left. Kim raced past and crashed into a sandbar. "You're not a battle pokemon. Your my first mate. I'm going to use Woobat!" The flying bat popped out her pokeball, ready to rumble.

"This battle looks like it may be intense!" Kalvin cried. "The colors are fantastic!"

"I think you've been dipping in the fundip a little much" Walker sweatdropped. "Anybody want to check on Kim? Make sure she's okay?"

"She's fine!" TJ said, pointing to her trying to drag her water jet skies to the water.

"Basculin, tackle!" Esmerleda cried. Basculin jumped from the water and hit Woobat head on! Woobat flapped her wings, angry.

"Gust attack!" Jerry shouted. Woobat created a cyclone and Basculin was sent spiraling onto Esmerleda's boat. He hopped back inside and splashed.

"Not bad...captain Jerry..."

"Not bad breast slip...cpatain esmerelda" Jerry smirked. Esmerelda checked and found her breasts were not showing at all. Suddenly, in the moment she was distracted, the scene turned black and white like a 1920,s film and Jerry was standing on his boat in detective clothing, smoking a french fri. Well he held it in his mouth, anyway, but it really looked like he was for a moment.

"Sweetheart, you had a good alibi, you made a good case" he said, speaking in a private eye accent. "But, you made one big, huge mistake. You checked your bra. That allowedf my Woobat to use Odor Sleuth and make the scene become a deective scene and thus...spell your defeat."

"D...e..." Chatot counted. "Wait, are we counting the word your?"

Jerry sighed. "Chatot, tell Esmerelda what she's won."

"A confusion attack?" he asked.

"A confusion attack sounds alright. Woobat, confusion." Woobat used Gust to grab TJ and knock him onto Esmerelda's boat. He got up and began tapping her opn her left shoulder. As she turned, he moved to her right side and tapped her right shoulder. This kept up for ten minutes and forty-nine seconds until Esmerelda finally caught him and threw him back over to the group. And no, he w3asn't hurt. He hit a pillow leaning against a building.

"And we won" Jerry announced calmly, smiling at a defeated Basculin.

"How?" esmerleda gasped.

"Well, the scene change occured and during the whole time you were distracted by TJ, I had woobat use attacks to defeat your Basculin. It bit me though...so i had to put it down." He showed bandages on his arm. He noticed esmerelda look sad. "After i put him down, he lunged and Woobat hit him with a confusion attack, knocking him out" he explained, revealing a misunderstanding. Yeah, you all thought the basculin was...that's shameful!

Esmerelda sighed. "I've lost...for now. You won, but i will be back. To get my revenge! And also a biscuit." Sghe sailed away and Jerry gacve a thumbs up.

"Cap'n, are you saying...?"

"Yeah, that's the signal for drug Kalvin's fundip."

**next chapter! Ahoy...**

**Cheren: My debut! I don't want to screw this up**

**Kalvin: Shut it, Sharon. This is my chapter**

**Cheren: My name is Cheren.**

**Whitney: Hi-yah! (Jumps down from a blimp and gets hit by a charging Herdier)**

**Walker: I already like this chapter.**


	6. Aqua Teen Drug Halluci-nation

Pokemon Unova Expansion

Chapter 6: Aqua Teen Drug Halluci-nation

"We are back in Aspertia City" Walker announced, looking at a guidebook a unova.

"Really?" Jerry asked. "I thought this was a shortcut to the baking oven chef convention. Oh well, there's a gym here, isn't there?"

"Yeah" Hayley announced. "Some kid named..."

"Sharon!" someone yelled.

"That's the name" Hayley said.

"I wonder what she looks like" Kalvin said, fantasizing.

"Sharon's a man" Hayley announced, pointing to a young, middle school looking boy.

"I'm...going to be sick, one moment please."

**one moment later...**

"Better?" Jerry asked.

Kalvin nodded. "Yeah. Hey, Sharon!"

"It's Cheren!" the boy yelled back. "As in che-ren. Sounds it out."

"Where's Ozzie?" TJ asked.

"I'm not named Sharon!" Cheren screamed.

"Sharon!" a female voice yelled. Everyone turned to see Kim. "What?"

"Why are you here?" Jerry asked.

"I came to arrest you for what happened last chapter. You ran me into a sandbar!" Sghe held out handcuffs.

"But...you ran into that sandbar yourself" Walker said, thinking.

"The wimp is right..." Chatot agreed.

"I'm a wimp...?" Walker asked, upset.

"He's right" Jerry said. "He is not a wimp. Only whipped by his two girlfriends."

"I'm not whipped and i don't have two girlfriends!" Walker yelled. Whitney slapped him on his left cheek and then Dahlia slapped him on his right side. "Could you two quit messing around?" he sighed. Hayley and TJ put down their cardboard cutouts of Whitney and Dahlia and watched as Kalvin challenged Cheren to a battle.

Kim slapped handcuffs on herself. "I did run myself into a sandbar and Chief Quintin asked me to turn in whoever ruined the sandbar so...I'm turning myself in."

Jerry blinked. "Did that make any sense, Chatot?"

"Not one word, cap'n" Chatot replied, wearing his headphones.

"Sharon!" Kalvin yelled. "Me and the aqua teen hunger force challenge you to a pokemon battle!"

"It's Cheren" the boy sighed. "And what aqua teen hunger force?"

Jerry looked at Chatot. "You really spiked his fundip, didn't you?" he asked.

Chatot shrugged. "I was in the moment, you can't just be in the moment and not spike fundip."

"I agree" TJ said, dressed as Lincoln. "And I will slay all zombies who disagree with me." A zombie hand was raised. "Yes, Washington?"

"When is lunch?" he asked.

"You're a zombie, you don't eat" TJ informed him, whacking the hand with a slinky.

Cheren sent out a Herdier. "My Herdier is a strong pokemon, Kalvin."

"Whatever, just don't start singing to me. And no crazy trains..." Kalvin let Snivy out of her pokeball. "Time to roll his rock!" Snivy pushed Cheren's prized rock over a cliff.

"Noooo! My rock!" Cheren shouted.

**Who is that pokemon time! I'll give you three seconds to guess. One...three...fourteen...it' Kalvin!**

**"Dunsparce!"**

Cheren pointed aty Snivy. "Attack her with Take Down!" Herdier charged at the female grass snake.

"Snake!" Jerry yelled at his playstation vita. "I can't believe I lost that mission. I was so close. And yes, that is what she said."

"You'll have to introduce me to she" Walker joked.

"It was your psycho girlfriend" Jerry said. He paused for dramatic effect. "No, I'm kidding, but seriously, look out." Whitney, dressed as a ninja, jumped off of a blimp and raced towards Walker.

"Walk...!" She was hit by Herdier and sent flying back into the blimp.

"...this way" Cheren finished, surprised.

"All according to plan!" Kalvin yelled. "Meatwad, now!" He pointed and waited a few minutes. "Meatwad's busy. Help him out, Snivy! Use that move we have been working on. The move we created for when we need to clear leaves in my backyard. The...Leaf Tornado!" Snivy spun upside down and managed to gather some stray leaves and fired them at Herdier, knocking him back.

"Leaves can't beat Sharon!" Cheren shoputed. "No! I called myself Sharon! But, I'm cheren."

"We understand..." Kalvin said, tryig to talk him down. "You're unsure of who you are, your identity as a person..."

"I'm not gay!" Cheren yelled.

"Dude...I was talking about you losing your driver's license" Kalvin replied slowly, revealing Cheren's wallet to be in his possession.

"No more idiotic games! Herdier, use Work Up!" herdier got stronger. "This strengths my pokemon's attack and special attack! This battle is over! Shadow Ball!" using a tm he had given to Herdier, Cheren ordered his pokemon to fire a lump of dark energy at the foe. Herdier shot his energy at Snivy.

"Blow him away!" kalvin yelled. "Leaf Tornado!"

"This...is too...easy..." Jerry chuckled, trying not to laugh too much. He realised what he said and laughed...out loud.

"Cap'n..." Chatot sighed. "he's being immature...without me."

Kalvin smiled. "Sharon, you're going to fail this battle. You know why? We are all about idiotic! In fact, Snivy, wine whip!" Snivy took out a whip and began whipping Herdier, making him submissive. "Return to your pokeball." Herdier disappeared into his pokeball.

"I lost..." Cheren sobbed, upset. He handed Kalvin his gym badge and ordered them to leave. But, the group decided to stay for a party they threw with Jenkins and then left.

**next chapter!**

**Jerry: Eusine...**

**Eusine: Jerry...**

**Jerry: Hot babe! (Runs over to blonde haired girl in a santa suit)**

**Chatot: Cap'n is head over heels again.**

**Walker: Whitney, get that mistletoe away!**


	7. Christmas Special part 1

**Welcome to the Unova Expnsion Christmas Special.**

Pokemon Unova Expansion

Chapter 7: Christmas Special part 1

"Jingle my bells!" TJ gasped as they arrived in the snowy town of Snowmanz Town. Kalvin took TJ's newest instrument, a set of bells, and jingled them. "Thank you" he replied, taking them back.

"I can't wait to meet Santa!" Jerry said, excited. "he probably has many gifts for me."

"I thought he only gave gifts to nice people" Hayley joked.

"I am nice" Jerry defended himself. "Remember that time I gave my games to the needy?"

Walker nodded. "How could we forget? You got into a fight with a Flamerkid person over who was right about Metal Gear Solid five and we had to bail you out using patented Durst Inc. Jet Skiis."

Jerry frowned. "He was wrong. Somebody had to explain to him that Metal Gear Solid five is going to be better than Halo five."

Kalvin and TJ rolled their eyes. "Yeah, right!"

Hayley pointed to a hotel. "Let's stop there for the night." They entered the hotel and were surprised to see four reccuring characters they didn't want to see and one ex-main character.

"Sup" Kim greeted. "You're lucky, because it is Christmas, i'm on break." She was holding a hot chocolate cup and sipping slowly.

"Walker!" Whitney yelled, wearing a jacket made of mistletoe. "Kiss me!" She lunged for him, but Walker did a barrel roll and escaped.

"That stuff only works when you're under it!" he shouted. Kalvin tried to go to his hotel room, but Jenkins had placed an invisible wall in front of him.

"I can't get past it!" he cried, huffing. Jenkins looked bored and watched Kalvin try endlessly to get past his invisible wall. Finally, in the corner and wearing a forty-nine thousand dollar outfit was Eusine.

"Jerry, my enemy of the past."

"Eusine, my enemy of forever."

"Don't be like that, Jerry" Eusine said. "This is the season to be forgetting."

"Forgiving" Jerry corrected him. "The season for...excuse me one second." Jerry began walking toward a sexy blonde hair girl dressed in a skimpy santa suit. "Miss, hi. I was hoping you would let me sit in your lap so I can tell you what I want for Christmas. Hint hint, it's you." The girl turned and smiled at him.

"Well, hello Jerry Boss!" She gave him a hug.

"How...did you know my name?" he wondered aloud.

"Oh, you don't know who I am?" she asked. "My name is Sandra Claus, daughter of Santa Claus." Jerry felt his chances of getting a present from her increasing. Take that as you will.

"Wow...so why are you here?" He saw her face turn sad and it looked like she was a little girl. That broke his previous infactuation for her and caused him to ask her age as well, to avoid jailbait.

"I'm 25" she replied. "And...I'm here because Christmas is ruined. Three figures stole the sack that gives out presents for everybody and we can't deliver gifts with no gifts."

"Me and my friends...and Eusine will get them back for you!" Jerry volunteered, giving her a wink. "Keep your lap warm...not like that, no! I mean, save space for me...wait, no...wait here and we'll stop those thieves." As he turned and talked about the situation with his friends, he brought Chatot out of his pokeball.

"What was the big idea?" Chatot asked,. "You never put me in a pokeball."

"It's too cold out" Jerry said.

"Well, all I need is a sweater and I should be fine. I'm not going south for the winter."

"That wouldn't matter because we are already in south Unova" Kim explained, showing him a map.

"Doesn't that beat to a different drum?" Chatot asked, astonished.

"Huh?" TJ asked, dropping his new giant drum. It rolled across the floor to where Eusine was standing and squashed his toe.

"Augh!"

Jerry explained everything. "Are you ready? We are going to save Christmas. Or try to, anyway."

"This sounds much more exciting than the last Christmas special" TJ admitted.

"Not for me" Walker groaned as Whitney, who held a mistletoe over his head, kissed him for the fifth time. They went outside to find a group of candy cane men looking at them.

"We're here for Sandra Claus" one of them said, an axe in his hand.

"Take care of them, we'll go after the three thieves" Jerry said, leaving Kalvin, Jenkins, Kim and TJ behind. Jerry, Walker, Hayley, Eusine and Whitney raced toward an abandoned shack, where they discovered the three thieves opening up some of their loot.

"The cops!" one of them cried in terror.

"Spike, Stone and Stick?" Jerry asked.

"We're back!" they yelled, throwing out pokeballs and releasing their monkeys.

"Those are dreadfully cheap pokemon" eusine said, showing of his rich taste by eating cavier.

"That...is disgusting" hayley replied, watching Jerry and Walker release Oshawott and Tepig.

Meanwhile, back in front of the hotel, Kalvin and TJ had forced the candy cane people to send out their Vanillites.

**Next time:**

**Hayley: I'm ok at using a tepig.**

**Walker: That is my tepig!**

**Jerry: It looks more like an umbreon. Or maybe it's a Meowth!**

**Chatot: Funny Cap'n!**

**Walker: No it isn't...That wasn't funny at all, you stole that from the anime!**

**Jerry: (shrugging) Everyone steals something.**


	8. Christmas Special part 2

Pokemon Unova Expansion

Chapter 8: Christmas Special part 2

"Would you listen to us?" one of the candy cane people asked as their Vanillites were being roughhoused by Darumaka's incinerate attack.

"No, yopu listen to us!" Kalvin shouted. "Snivy, use Leaf Tornado to knock them around!" Snivy whipped up a leafy storm that nearly defeated the ice cream pokemon. Luckily, they had all used harden to cushion their bodies.

"Ugh...all vanillite use Icicle Spear." The ice cream pokemon sent a barrage of ice attacks flying at Snivy, darumaka and Jenkins. Jenkins sent out Mr. Mime to block the attacks.

"You're not such a bad guy, Jenkins" Kalvin admitted quietly. "By the way, anyone asks I never said that."

"But, we heard you..." Kim tried to say. She found a pen to her handcuffs.

"Nobody...heard anything" Kalvin said. He removed the pen from her handcuffs and continued the battle. "Leaf Tornado!" he shouted. The Vanillite were defeated. "You won't hurt Sandra Claus with your weapons!"

The candy cane people looked confused. "She asked us to bring our axes in order to craft a new sleigh since she broke hers last week."

"..okay, you are free to go." He watched them walk inside and turned to TJ. "Do you trust them?" he whispered.

"Not really" TJ answered in a whispery voice.

"Let's steal Kim's handcuffs and capture them" Kalvin suggested.

"I'm able to hear you" Kim sighed. "And you won't have to steal my handcuffs, I'll help. They probably stole the presents too."

Meanwhile, at the abanonded warehouse

"Jerry look out!" Hayley shouted. Jerry turned to find Pansear using Fury Swipes on a support beam near him. "Chatot, go confuse Pansear."

"What's three plus seven?" Chatot asked, waiting for a response. "Bowling ball soup." Pansear stopped what he was doing and gave him a confused look. "NOW!"

Jerry nodded. "Oshawott, water gun!" Oshawott took out his water pistol and fired at Pansear, knocking him out.

"There's still two of us left!" Spike yelled. "Pansage, hit Oshawott with your Scratch attack."

Jerry folded his arms. "Walker's Tepig will block that with an ember attack...right Walker?" His confidence faded as he noticed Walker immobilized by Whitney's constant kissing. "You sly...this isn't the time to be making out!"

Walker frowned. "hayley! Help!" Hayley took out a giant mallet and was about to whack whitney with it when she realised she should let them have their Christmas kissing. She decided to also take over Walker's side of the battle.

"Ember..." Tepig fired a snort of burning embers at Pansage, severely weakening it. "I'm not too bad at using a tepig" she smiled.

"Oshawott, water gun on Panpour!" Jerry shouted. Oshawott misaimed and fired at Whitney, knocking her off of Walker.

"Thanks..." he gasped.

"Um...no problem, I was trying to help you the whole time" Jerry lied. Walker jumped back into the battle. "Tepig! Use Ember." Tepig and Oshawott tag teamed Pansage, knocking it out. Now all that was left was Stick's Panpour.

"They beat us!" Stone yelled angrily as he returned his Pansear.

"I don't see how we could lose" Spike frowned, returning Pansage.

"You have to be calm, that's just all you have to do" Stick replied, in the zone. "Panpour, kindly use Fury Swipes on Tepig." Panpour lunged for the orange pig.

"Quick!" walker shouted. "use Eusine Shield!"

"What?" the rich man asked, watching Tepig hide behind him. Suddenly, Panpour was on his face, scratching...but doing so calmly. "My face!" he cried.

"Eusine shield...I like that move" Jerry said, smiling. "Let's finish this with water gun." Oshawott fired water at Panpour, knocking it out.

"I lost too..." Stick sighed, returning his pokemon. The weapons gang left, leaving the presents for Jerry and them to collect.

"Hey...guys?" Jerry asked, opening the door to the burned down hotel. Sandra Claus looked dreadful! Her hair was singed, her suit was lightly singed and her face was haggered. No, not the guy from final fight.

"I can't believe I took this gig as a santa hooker only to be burnt because of a fight between a crazed stoner and his friends and some weird candy cane people with axes. I am out of here!" she stormed off, leaving Jerry with a bunch of random presents and no date.

"Look on the bright side" Walker said cheerfully. "Eusine got hurt."

"That is true" Jerry agreed, brightening up. "Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!"

**Next Chapter:**

**TJ: We finally shed some light on an important message**

**Kalvin: Is it about drug use?**

**Chatot: If it was, you wouldn't be featured. We want kids to have a positive message when they reasd this**

**Kalvin: Do kids really read this?**

**TJ: Stop asking questions! Or I'll attack with my ocarina...what is that pokemon doing? Is it...recycling?**


	9. Economic Lesson

Pokemon Unova Expansion

Chapter 9: Economic Lesson

"That was a nice break" Walker said, stretching out his arms in the bright, warm sun.

"Yeah, the story hasn't been updated for nearly a month" Jerry said, playing his wii.

"You have a wii now?"

"Yeah, all the main characters do. Except you and Kalvin and Hayley."

Hayley folded her arms. "I'm more professional...oooh! A leaf!" She jumped for it, but the leaf blew away and she hit her face on a soft pillow.

Walker looked around. "Where did Kalvin and TJ go? We're supposed to be going to Virbank City."

"They went to fetch a pail of water" Jerry answered. "I threw it far so they may be awhile. By the way, playing as mario right now on brawl."

**far away:**

Kalvin and TJ finally found what they were looking for. "The lost city of eldorado" TJ said, marveling. "is nothing compared to this pail of water."

Kalvin nodded. "Yep, now we have a pail full of water...hey! It's only half full!" He noticed Chatot, who had decided to tag along.

"I am a half full kinda parrot" Chatot chirped.

"You didn't have to drink all of the water" Kalvin said angrily, taking a swing at Chatot. The impact hurt his hand. "Owwww! That felt like wood!"

"That's because you punched a stump" Chatot said. "Is he on drugs again?"

"I think so" TJ replied, unsure.

"Garbodor!" a loud pokemon yelled. The garbage pokemon stomped out of the woods and sneered at Kalvin.

"What did you say?" Kalvin asked, taking out a pokeball. "I'm going to catch you, foul pokemon!" he threw the pokeball at TJ. "It didn't work?"

"I'm not a pokemon!" TJ yelled, playing an ocarina.

"Oh...then Snivy!" He tossed the pokemon out. "Attack Garbodor with Leaf Tornado." Snivy wipped up a tornado and sent it toward Garbodor, hitting it directly. Garbodor cringed, then gave a menacing look and sprang forward with a burst of speed, nailing Snivy with Acid Spray.

"What happened?" Kalvin asked, confused.

"That is Garbodor's ability Weak Armor" Chatot announced. "It activates when hit by an attack. The pokemon loses so defense, but gains speed. Like when you are smoking weed and you lose the ability to recognize your friends but gain the ability to see an alien attack."

"That was only five times and you know that aliens will one day actually show up!" Kalvin yelled.

In the bushs, a green man looked at his ufo. "Darn it! The plan has been discovered. I need to abort my mission, for the time being..." He walked inside ad the spacecraft took off.

"I wonder what happens if i throw a paper wad at him" TJ chuckled, tossing a paper wad at garbodor. The helpful pokemon picked it up, looked both ways and found a recycling can. It turdged forward and stuck it inside, neatly closing the lid.

"I guess that means he used Recycle" Chatot said, surprised.

"It recycles too?" Kalvin asked. "Now I need to have it. Garbodor! I'm going to capture you with...a can." He took a can of poke'cola from his backpack.

"And how is drinking a can of poke'cola going to solve anything?" TJ asked.

"It works like so." He drank the entire can, set it on the ground and waited. Garbodor tried to stay still, he really did. Staring at the can, he couldn't stop himself from moving forward and picking it up, heading for the nearest recyling can.

"And since its back is turned, I can do this!" Kalvin said. He took out a pokeball with a K marked on it.

"You put your first initial on your pokeball?" TJ asked. Kalvin nodded.

"I do it with all of them. It makes sure i never lose them or mistake the pokemon for someone elses." He tossed the pokeball at garbodor and it went inside. Kalvin waited and realised that he had caught a new pokemon. And it is ecofriendly!

**eco message:**

**I know this is a story, but you can recycle too. Follow Garbodor's examples of recycling, don't wait. Well actually, read the rest of the chapter first and then recycle. Recycle hard. Recycle fast. Recycle safely. Ignore any and all sexual puns there and simple recycle.**

"Kinda cool how we put those kid friendly messages in a story that makes fun of sex, drugs and rock and roll" TJ said.

"We haven't done many rock and roll jokes" Kalvin reminded him.

"The virbank saga starts next week" TJ said, remembering. "I was thinking ahead."

"Victory" Jerry gloated, having defeated Walker and Hayley at the wii.

**Next Chapter next time:**

**TJ: Time for a history lesson**

**Jerry: No, we don't need to be educational with this series**

**Chatot: Eusine's back...**

**Eusine: I will get my revenge!**

**TJ: Wait, does this mean the banjo jokes are back?**


	10. Old Jokes Return

Pokemon Unova Expansion

Chapter 10: Old Jokes Return

"Are we there yet?" TJ asked for the eightyith and a half time. Yes, a halftime, because the megabowl football game was one. Ah, the megabowl. What's the megabowl? Where football players throw a bowling ball and run it down the field, obviously. Rebounds must hurt though.

"No, we are not in Virbank City yet" Walker said. They walked another step and crossed a red tape line on the ground. "Now we are."

"Cool, I'm going to explore" TJ responded, walking one way. Jerry and Chatot followed and they met in the middle.

"We're going to split up" Jerry explained, Chatot on his shoulder.

"Cap'n thinks we may find some cougars in this town" Chatot squaked.

"Old Map Guy said they lurk in the alleyways" Jerry replied, searching each alleyway.

"I think he lied to you" said TJ as he walked into a bookstore. He came out a moment later with the book Art of War by Sun Tzu. "And this brings us to my favorite lesson of the chapter."

"You have a special segment?" Chatot asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, TJ's corner."

**TJ's corner**

TJ stepped up to a blank screen in a white lab coat. Why did it have to white? It was the only lab coat we could find. "Hi everyone! Today starts the educational segment of Unova Expansion! I'll be explaining cultures of various countries so you can learn something from all the wackiness that these chapters seem to have."

"TJ, this might not be such a good idea" Jerry said, frowning.

"And I have a guest!" TJ announced, spotlight hitting Jerry. And Chatot too. "Today, we are going to learn about the Cold War! Now, basically it was an event in USA and Russian history, and maybe Cuba. Regardless of who was at fault, we have decided to recreate the cold war." TJ activated a snow machine and dropped the temperature a few degrees. "Now it's cold..."

Jerry picked up a snowball and began to make a snowman. When he was finished, it was a Snow Chatot. "Cool, huh?"

"Nice pun, Cap'n" Chatot laughed. TJ revealed his 20 foot snowman.

"Mine's cooler" he laughed. "Thank you all for enjoying this history segment of TJ's Corner. I hope you learned more about the Cold War and next time, maybe we will move on to foreign words."

**showtime is back:**

"Is that Eusine?" Chatot asked. Eusine arrived in a limosine full of fish.

"I don't know who put fish in my car, but they're going to get a pounding!" Eusine shouted, dialing a number on his cellphone. "Hello? Bodyguards?" He saw TJ and Jerry. "Never mid, I need the cops number..."

"You aren't calling the cops!" Chatot squaked. Feathers flying, he started to retreat, but Jerry held his leg.

"Let TJ handle this." TJ took out a banjo.

"Me and Banjo Jar Jar will handle this" he said. "You two stay out of it. Darumaka." He threw out the fire rollypolly."

Eusine nearly laughed. "That pathetic excuse for a pokemon? It lacks elegance, style, grace..." He took out a pokeball and released his pokemon. "...Swadloon, on the other hand, is all of the above."

"And also weak to fire" TJ grinned. "This will be easier than winning a chess match against Herbie's Ghost." The ghost materialized beside Jerry.

"That's not fair. I tried and he cheated" Herbie's Ghost accused.

"Can't we be serious for once?" Eusine asked, shaking his head. "Whatever, arrogant lad. Swadloon..."

"You calling me a lad?" TJ asked, angry.

"Um...yeah?"

"I'm not a lad!" TJ shouted. "Incinerate!" Darumaka breathed fire at Swadloon.

"Dodge with elegance!" Eusine commanded. The leafy cocoon-ish pokemon danced out of the way with a short hop to her right. "Now use String Shot!" Swadloon encased Darumaka in string, distracting it from Eusine's next attack. "Razor Leaf!" Two leaves sht from Swadloon's body and in response, Darumaka rolled away from the attack.

"I'm going to teach you about the Warm War" TJ said, wearing a professor's cap. "In modern day time, we have had the warm war which is the war of..."

"Don't care!" Eusine shouted. "Grasswhistle!" Swadloon sang a soothing meledy that caused Chatot to go to sleep. Jerry and TJ, however, were awake.

"I'm srry, what were you saying?" Jerry asked, taking out his earplugs.

TJ showed off his mp3. "Disturbed rocks! And it blocks out Grasswhitstles. Darumaka, use Rage!" Darumaka rolled toward Swadloon.

"Protect!" Eusine shouted desperately. Swadloon put up a barrier and Darumaka rammed into it.

"Take this then!" Tj shouted. "Incinerate!" Swadloon was hit close range with the fire attack, knocking her out.

"My Swadloon" Eusine said, sniffling. "I'll get you for this!" He tossed a smoke bomb and TJ had to cough, focing him to drop Banjo Jar Jar.

"Jar Jar" TJ frowned, picking up the pieces. "Well, there is a banjo repair shop down the road. Jerry, how's Chatot?"

Chatot had woken up. "Cap'n, what happened? I was dreaming of my darling Chingling and now I'm here, on the ground."

Jerry picked him up and placed the parrot on his shoulder. Chatot, you are a funny parrot."

**next episode**

**Jerry: I'm not in the next chapter?**

**TJ: today class, we are going to learn about interupting someone's battle**

**Chatot: It's too early to be doing a chapter**

**Walker: Koffing, you're mine!**

**Hayley: Did you say mime? (Dressed as a ninja) Ninja! **


	11. Ninja versus Mime

Pokemon Unova Expansion

Chapter 11: Ninja versus Mime

virbank complex...

Walker, Kalvin and hayley walked through the abandoned complex. "This place looks cool in the sunlight!" Walker exclaimed. Clouds appeared in the sky and it started to rain. "And now it isn't."

Kalvin and Hayley laughed at him, then Kalvin got serious. "No way! Is that for real?" He was staring at something in the grass.

"Do you see an enemy?" Hayley asked, glancing around. A puff of smoke surrounded her and when it cleared, she was dressed like a ninja.

"No...better!" Kalvin exclaimed happily. He ran into the grass and picked up a pen. "The rarest pen i've ever seen! a bottle nose dolphin pen with eight writing settings for extra stab and a dual speed texting app on the side." Behind him, something moved.

"I've got this one!" Hayley yelled, She tossed two shuriken behind Kalvin and heard a silent scream. Well, you couldn't really hear it, only imagine you did because mimes can't yell.

"Jenkins?" Kalvin said, surprised. "What are you doing here?" Jenkins tried mimespeak by moving his hands crazily. "What's he saying?"

"He's saying he wants to brawl" Walker replied, reading his book of mime speak and thumbing through the pictures.

"He's going down" Hayley whispered. She disappeared in a puff of smoke, hoping to get behind him. However..."What am i doing on top of this building?" she asked in horror, afraid not at being so high up, but because her dramatic moment was taken away from her.

"How about a pokemon brawl?" Kalvin suggested, taking Garbodor's pokeball from his backpack. Suddenly, a surprise pokemon attacked and caught them both off guard with a loud ploop.

"A koffing!" Walker shouted. "A Kanto pokemon in the Unova region, cool!" He took out a pokeball. "And I want it. Tepig, go!" He released his starter pig.

"Why don't I handle this?" Hayley asked, holding up a smoke ball. "Pshaw!" she cried in excitement. She found herself at a strange ranch.

"Miltank!" a miltank said.

"Shut up, moo moo" she told the strangely male miltank.

"Tepig, use ember!" Walker yelled. Tepig fired his flames at koffing. The posion cloud began to release a smokescreen attack.

"Wait!" Kalvin called. "Fire plus gas equals...!" He braced himself for an explosion. And he got one. "Confettii?" he asked, confused. "He stared at the confettii."

"You have won the grand prize!" Million Man announced. "A full years supply of number 3 pencils."

"Not pens?" Kalvin asked, saddened.

"Sorry, they stopped making number 3 pens."

"No!" Kalvin yelled, brought to the stage to relunctantly accept his prize.

"Can this chapter get any weirder?" Walker asked. "Tepig, use...!"

**Tj's corner:**

"Hello everybody, today we have a brand new lesson to teach you in learning. And today, I have a very special guest star. Since Chatot isn't showing up in the actual chapter, he's going to help me explain to you the concept of foreign words. Chatot?"

Chatot yawned. "It's five am. Can't this wait till the cap'n gets up?"

"No it can't" TJ replied. "What foreign word will we learn today?"

"Let's do something simple" Chatot suggested. "Nani. The word is used in a question."

"And what does it mean?"

"What."

"I said what does it mean?" TJ yelled.

"What."

"What does nani mean...never mind, we're out of time. Next time, we'll try to get something done and actually teach you something."

**showtime's back**

walker frowned. "and once again, Tepig, use defense curl." Tepig curled into a ball to avoid Koffing's tackle damage. It still got hurt a little, though. Koffing unleashed a smog attack, but Walker was ready and ordered Tepig to use ember. The attacks collided and an explosion occured in the sky. Soon, mimes were falling from the sky.

"It's raining mimes!" Walker yelled. "Run for your life."

Kalvin had boxing gloves on. "I'm so ready for mimes..." He was hit by a mime. "Oww..."

As they ran to avoid the mimes falling from the sky, to be fair they had all went skydiving with padded pillows underneath their clothing and all were safe, a pokeball hit koffing. The pokeball shook three times and stopped. Walker ran through the raining mimes and picked the pokeball up. Then, they left the complex and Jenkins behind.

**next chapter:**

**Walker: Finally! I'm going to get a gym badge**

**Jerry: I wonder what jokes are going to be recycled from the previous series this time**

**TJ: No more banjo jokes, please. Not for a while, at least**

**Kalvin: No promises**

**Kim: After this is over, you are all under arrest**


	12. Beanie Baby Whirlipede

Pokemon Unova Expansion

Chapter 12: Beanie Baby Whirlipede

Walker entered the gym with his friends supporting him all the way as they followed. "Boo!" Jerry yelled.

"You should go home!" TJ shouted, throwing a plastic cup at him.

"You make Frylock sick!" Kalvin cried. Everyone looked at him.

"Kalvin, I don't think they can see us" Frylock said, an illusion in Kalvin's mind.

"Or the colors" Shake said. "oh the colors are beautiful!"

"Is he on drugs?" the gym leader, Roxie asked.

"Pipsqueak time is over" Walker said, confident despire his friend's jokes. He sent out his tepig. "I challenge you for a gym badge."

Roxie grabbed a pokeball. "Then let's begin. Me and my rock band are going to wipe you out!" She and her bandmates began playing a song and she threw a pokeball in the air. Out popped a Whirlipede.

"Is that...?" Jerry asked, reaching with his hand.

"Is that a what?" Roxie asked, folding her arms.

"It's a beanie baby" Jerry guessed. "Hello, you're a nice and plush..." Whirlipede growled at him and he shrank back.

"Cap'n, maybe you shouldn't try to call a dangerous poison pokemon a beanie baby."

"You're right Chatot. It's dangerous. And breaking the law!" He took out a clelphone. "Police? We have a 40239 in progress, over."

"Copy that, officer zangief" a big, black man's voice said on the other end. Then they heard "Kim! Get over to Virbank City and respond to the call of a lost cat stuck in a door of cheetos!" Suddenly, Kim busted through the window of the gym on her motorcyle.

"Where's the emer...it's you guys." She sighed and folded her arms. "Jerry, did you steal a police identity?"

"No..." he said, shifting his eyes.

"You're officer zangief who keeps prank calling me that someone has hostages in Brazil!" she shouted angrily. "I actually drove to brazil twice to save those hostages and it turns out that there wasn't any!"

"Not true" Jerry replied. "Anybody who watchs Twilight: South America is a hostage. Nobody would watch it if they had a choice."

Kim shrugged and sat down in the bleachers. "I may as well watch the gym battle with you guys. You are my friends after all. But i'm arresting all of you when this over. Police Chief Quintin has ordered me to catch you five and arrest you for many unlwaful charges."

"If you must" Jerry replied, taking out his secret button he pressed when in danger. Outside, five horses from red dead redemption galloped toward the gym, ready to take the five away from kim. All they needed was the password and Jerry wasn't going to say it until the right moment.

"Tepig, use ember!" Tepig spat a fire at Whirlipede.

"Dodge!" Roxie shouted. "Now use Poison Sting!" She hit Tepig with a dary.

"Ouch!" Walker cried for Tepig. "Now go in with ember!" Tepig blasted Whirlipede in the face with fire.

"Venoshock" Roxie said. Venipede launched a venom attack on Tepig.

"Defense curl!" Walker ordered. Tepig protected itself and the acid burned away the floor around it, revealing a pit of...beanie baby collectibles?

"I knew it!" Jerry yelled, pointing. "ha! You all thought I was crazy, but Whirlipede is a beanie baby!"

"That was...insane!" Walker yelled. "Do you realise how many peta laws you almost broke? Cruelty to tepig is wrong! Do we have a cop in the audiance?" Kim raised her hand. "How do you think she is going to deal with her arrest?"

"Most criminals usually complain and fight us" Kim replied through a microphone. "Though this can be stopped with a biscuit." Kalvin threw a biscuit at Roxie.

"Ouch! Let's play a few riffs, gang!" She began playing a haunting song.

"She said gang!" Jerry cried.

"Ninja..." hayley said, still dressed as a ninja.

"That joke was last chapter!" TJ exclaimed.

"Oh...i know" She said with a smile, winking at the camera. "Ninja..."

Kim jumped from the bleachers and ran at Roxie, handcuffing her and her "gang". "You're all going to the big house" she said.

"Jail?" they cried.

"No...the big house in virbank city" Kim replied. "It holds gang members like you three." Walker, in the confusion, returned tepig and stole the badge.

"Jerry, use the password!"

"What password?" Jerry asked. Understanding the password, the five horses burst through the door and the five heroes jumped aboard, escaping Kim's clutches again.

**Next chapter:**

**TJ: There was no tj's corner!**

**Kim: Maybe next chapter**

**Walker: We're going to be movie stars?**

**Chatot: Hall of movie birds...I'll be next to paulie and Iago.**

**Hayley: Ninja!**


	13. Greatest Movie Ever

Pokemon Unova Expansion

Chapter 13: Greatest Movie Ever

"So this is pokewood" Walker said, looking around.

Jerry and Chatot were wearing black glasses. "It's a shame we couldn't get these star shaped" Jerry said, imaging what being a star would be like.

"Cap'n, we would be a hit" Chatot agreed.

Hayley tapped her foot impatiently. "Why are we here?"

"Well, in the beginning..." Jerry began explaining.

"Not on Earth!" Hayley yelled. "I mean, why are we at pokewood?"

"Apparently, a big shot director decided we could be in his new movie" TJ explained.

A man approached the group, wearing shades and a director's cap. "My name is Steve Spillcyborg. I am the famous movie director for such huits as Feraligatr and Gardevoir: A Love Story and Golem Mountain parts 1 through 42."

"That's alot of sequels" Walker said, surprised.

"This tastes good, what is it?" Kalvin asked.

"Celery..." Steve said.

"Oh...I like it."

"That's because it's green" Walker sighed.

"One time, he tried to eat a ninja turtle" Kim explained, staring at Kalvin in a mean way.

"I didn't know you were in costume" Kalvin said with a lazy shrug.

"What are you doing here?" TJ asked.

"I was invited to be a part of Steve's new movie as well" she explained. "Since i'm not on duty today, I can't arrest you."

"Was is your new movie, Steve?" Hayley asked.

"It's called Sly Pokemon. Basically, we took the plot of a popular video game and we threw in pokemon and cheap working actors."

"Do we get bagels?" Jerry asked.

"No."

"I don't like bagels anyway" Jerry said.

Steve looked at the cast. "Kim, you will play Carmelita Fox, the love intrest of Sly Cooper and interpool cop."

"Yes!" Kim cried. "I'm a cop!"

"TJ, you will play Sly Cooper, the thief that runs after treasure."

"This is sick" TJ said, nearly throwing up as he looked at the equally disgusted Kim.

"I don't like it either" Kim replied.

"Chatot, you will be playing Clockwerk, the villian."

"I'm a villian, Cap'n!" Chatot said proudly.

"Kalvin, you're the Murray, the pink hippo and also the muscle."

Kalvin looked confused. "Why am I a hippo?"

"Jerry, you will be playing...a gameboy. We don't have a part for you."

"Can't you make one up?" Jerry asked.

"...no. And Walker will be Bently, the turtle with science skills. Places and...action!"

**movie time! Grab your popcorn and peanut bags, this will be good...we hope:**

TJ lept onto a rooftop. "Bently, I'm in position."

"Good" Walker said via radio com link. "Do you know your target? You have to tail Carmelita and save her from the goons."

"Right...but, can't I just let her be taken by them so I can sneak in and grab the diamond neckless of pokemon townsmanships and..."

"Stop improvising!" Steve growled in a whisper voice.

"Sorry, I forgot my line" TJ said. "Bently, I'm going in now. I'll need Murray to be able to back me up." TJ jumoped off the roof and hit the ground. "Murray?" he whispered. He heard snoring. "Murray!" Kalvin woke up and yelled really loudly.

"Shut up, TJ! I'm tired! We've been walking for almost a month and now we're in pokewood filming a dumb movie! Can I at least get five minutes of rest?"

"This movie is going horrible..." Steve sighed. "At least everyone else is in character." The goonsm, played by three unknown actors, jumped in front of Kim.

"I have you now...goons?" she asked, confused as one of the goons jumped toward where Walker was.

"Ahhhhhhhh! Whitney! Go away."

"But, we're in romantric paris" she sighed, hugging him tightly.

"This is a movie set!" Walker shouted. "Steve! I quit!" He pushed Whitney off and ran for it. The other two goons blinked and grabbed Kim's arms.

"Let go!" she growled angrily. TJ jumped over her and took out something from behind his back. "You can't pick on a girl" he said, revealing his drum set. "One two..." He began playing the drums loudly and annoyed the goons away. Meanwhile, Steve was crying.

"It's...ruined..." he complained.

CFhatot flew out. "I am Clockwerk, revived by my clockwerk pices!"

"That's pieces" Steve frowned, whiping away the tears.

"Oh...those things."

"I'll stop you" a gruff voice said. Jerry, dressed as batman, jumped off of a stage roof and landed beside TJ. "Clockwerk, you're finished! I know you've been working with the Joker!"

"Get out!" Steve yelled.

"Do we still get our paychecks?" Hayley asked, coming back from the coffee room with a stolen coffee pot filled with cookies and creme.

"NO!"

**Next time:**

**Jerry: Somebody has been tipping too much.**

**Kalvin: How dare he!**

**Jerry: It could be a girl.**

**Kalvin: I think it isn't. It must be a guy. **

**Chatot: Wait, are we detectives now?**


	14. Story of a Tipper

Pokemon Unova Expansion

Chapter 14: Story of a Tipper

"Well, that was a good meal" Jerry said as he and Kalvin finished a platter of goods. "This restaurant is very swanky. Too bad Walker, Hayley and TJ couldn't enjoy this."

"We needed someone to be bait to throw Kim off a cliff...I mean, off our trail" Kalvin said. "So which credit card did you swipe from Walker?"

Jerry looked confused. "I didn't take any credit cards. We maxed them all out."

The waiter arrived. "Your bill, sirs." He handed them a slip of paper with a large amount and began to leave.

"We can't pay this!" Jerry cried.

"Sorry cap'n, I forgot my change purse in the van" Chatot frowned.

"You carry a purse?" Kalvin asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Don't judge him" Jerry replied, waving his fork at the waiter.

"I didn't say anything. If you two..."

"Three" Chatot squaked angrily.

"Three" the waiter correct. "If you cannot pay your bill, then I'll be forced to file criminal charges with Chief Quintin's office. Unless..."

"Unless what?" Jerry asked.

"Unless you can ctach the mysterious large tipper who has been tipping our restaurant every night. He always leaves a big tip."

"And that's a bad thing?" Kalvin asked.

"It's counterfeit money" the waiter replied.

**Tj's corner**

"Not to interupt, but I have something to say" TJ said. "Today, we have an important topic to discuss. Tipping. Tipping is an evil art which should be stopped. Handing off extra money to a buissness you enjoyed is wrong, legally wrong. It should be stopped immedietly. It happens everywhere. Remember, only you can prevent the evils of tipping..."

"Dude, this is about counterfeit money" Jerry said, crossing his arms.

"Means that it's fake" Chatot chimed in.

"Oh...never mind."

"And tipping isn't evil" Jerry explained, looking at the audience. "Tipping is not wrong, unless the money you give isn't real. Or unless you stole it. Otherwise, if you feel like giving a restaurant some extra cash, then you can and if you don't want to, then you shouldn't."

"Are we just here to lengthen the chapter so the writer doesn't have to write as much?" Chatot asked.

"Yes."

**Showtime is back!**

Outside the restaurant, a man walked down the street. Jerry and Kalvin saw him and decided to think of a plan. "We have to be quiet" Jerry explained. "Can you be quiet?"

"Yes" Kalvin answered.

"Well quiet isn't going to help us. HEY, You!" he shouted, pointing at the tipper. "Who are you and why are you tipping so much?"

Bonzo turned around. "Hey guys! It's me. Bonzo the tipper clown. I tip alot because i like the food at the restaurant."

"It has a name" Kalvin said, offended. "Jerry, what's the name of the restaurant?"

"Bellsprout's Grill" Jerry answered.

"Right."

"We're here to take you in so you can explain why you have been paying false money to the waiter" Chatot squaked in a private eye sounding voice.

Bonzo looked both ways. "My scheme...you found me out." He sighed and a backstory began to show. "I have no money. My circus performing in Johto is how I make my money and since I'm in unova, I can't get money."

"Lousy backstory" Jerry said, shaking his head. "That's almost criminal. Woobat, go." He sent out his female bat pokemon.

"Helloooo nurse!" Chatot said, eyes full of hearts.

"Let's roll, Garboder!" Kalvin shouted.

Bonzo took a pokeball from under his rubber nose. "Then I'll have to battle back with my Roggenrola." The rocky pokemon seemed confused.

"Rog?" it asked, looking around.

"Roggenrola, use Rock Blast!" Bonzo shouted. Roggenrola fired rocks at Woobat and Garboder. Both pokemon were hit before their trainers could react.

"My sweetie!" Chatot gasped. He chraged into the battle. "Jerry, give me an order!"

"Stand down" Jerry said, surprising Chatot.

"But...but...Cap'n..."

"Chatot, you use elipsis too much when you talk" Jerry said. "As for your reckless behavior, Woobat is fine. I used a potion on her." Woobat was healed and ready to attack.

"Oh."

"Use Heart Stamp!" Jerry yelled. Woobat flew toward Roggenrola, then shyly stopped. Roggenrola seemed confused and dropped its guard. When it did, Woobat hit him with her heart shaped nose.

"I want her to use Heart Stamp on me!" Chatot sighed loveningly.

"But you would be knocked out" Jerry told him.

"True, but I would be happy..."

"Oh, I see. You aren't happy now?" Jerry joked. "Kalvin, take it away."

"Graboder Doubleslap." Garboder turned and slapped Kalvin twice on the cheeck. "Thanks, I was starting to feel tired. Use Acid Spary on Roggenrola." Garboder spat acid at the rock pokemon and injured it.

"Sand Attack!" Bonzo shouted. Roggenrola built a sandcastle.

"It's beautiful!" Jerry cried. A sudden wind swept it away. "Moment's gone. Gust." Woobat flapped her wings and sent a gust at Roggenrola, knocking him out.

"You defeated me" he sighed, returning his pokemon.

Jerry looked at his friends. "And that's why we were late showing up fopr the boat."

"Oh" Walker said. "Well, at least you have a good excuse." As he, Hayley and TJ climbed aboard, Jerry and Kalvin looked at each other.

"You are a good liar" Kalvin whispered.

"Well, if we told them that we were really staring at showgirls at the Virbank City Theater, Walker and TJ would have wanted to stay and we would have to let them in on what we saw."


	15. Crazy vs Gothic!

Pokemon Unova Expansion

Chapter 15: Crazy vs Gothic!

"So we're in Castelia City" Walker said, reading a map.

"It's about time with all the detours we took" Jerry said, glancing at his watch.

"What time is it?" TJ asked.

"Time for your segment. TJ's corner."

**TJ's corner:**

"Hello kids and adults!" TJ greeted. "Today, we have something new to teach you about. The eight planets of our solar system. First, we have mercury. Next, we have venus. Earth is the third planet where we currently are. Next up is Hermes, the big red planet..."

"I think that planet is Jupiter" Jerry reminded him. "TJ, do you know your planets?"

TJ blinked. "Yes, I do. After Jupiter, there is Saturn, Neptuninias..."

"That's neptune..." Jerry replied.

"I'm tired!" TJ cried, dropping his script.

**Showtime:**

The gang had arrived in time for the upcmoning Battle Festival. "Awesome!" Walker shouted. "Time to win another title!"

"I don't think you'll be winning this one, Jedi" Kalvin said. "I have used the force to gain knowlege and power beyond what your pokemon have."

"You mean you got high and are looking at colors that don't even exist?" TJ asked.

"Look, a skiedge blue colored blimp!" Kalvin shouted, pointing at the bushes.

"That's Jenkins" Hayley replied. Jenkins made an uh oh face and looked both ways.

"I love you!" Kalvin said.

"Dude, I don't feel that way about you..." Hayley said.

"I was talking to my pen" Kalvin snorted. "She's just jealous, pennymcpenbride. We got married last fall."

"That is...very creepy" Jerry whispered.

"Speaking of creepy" Walker said, amused. He pointed to a goth girl approaching the group. She was dressed in all black clothes and had a skull neckless around her neck. Her eyes were red and she looked angry.

"Hayley" she said in a monotone voice. "You stole my boyfriend. I miss Jacob."

"Not my problem" Hayley said definently. "Go away, gothy."

"My name is Jessica" she said in a droll voice. She took out a knife.

"Oooh, a cat fight!" TJ exclaimed, taking out a banjo. "Get ready, Banjo Baldwin."

"Banjo Baldwin?" Jerry asked.

"It was signed by Terry Baldwin" TJ explained. "The guy who plays in that movie with Charizard."

"I have no idea who that is" Chatot squaked. "Cap'n, perhaps we should stop the goth girl from cutting Hayley."

"Nah" Jerry stated. "She will most likely put it away."

Jessica swung the knife at Hayley, who dodged with her ninja like reflexes.

"Ninja" she whispered. "Why did you swipe at me?"

"There was a bug" Jessica replied.

"Oh."

"I do want to pokemon battle you though. If I win, you will be hit with pumpkin pies. While flames surround you. In a pit. Filled with fire."

"We get the point" Hayley sighed. "I'll battle you. But first, errand boy!" TJ nodded. "Get my new pokemon."

"You mean...the one that almost knocked out all of your pokemon?" he asked, fearful.

"Yes, now!" She kicked Banjo Baldwin into the air and it crashed on the sidewalk. However, it wasn't damaged.

"Whoa. That banjo must be the most indestructible, coolest..." A truck came by and ran it over, banjo baldwin now in many pieces. "Nooooo!" TJ yelled. He ran to the pokemon center and came back with a pokeball.

"Now you'll know my most terrifying pokemon" Hayley threatened. "Go! Petilil! Ninja." Petilil appeared, the cutest grass type pokemon on Hayley's team. And the only one.

"Go Gothita" Jessica said. She released her gothic pokemon. "Use Confusion." Gohtita took out a math book and began explaining graphs. However, Petilil didn't seem confused.

"My Petilil has Own Tempo for an ability" Hayley said proudly. "She can't be confused."

"Darn. Gothita use Doubleslap." Gothita ran at petilil and slapped her hard.

"You...! Nobody slaps my pretty flower! Petilil, use Mega Drain!" Petilil began draining energy from Gothita.

"...Gothita, return." A badly injured Gothita was returned to her pokeball. "We'll meet again, rival." She then made an exit.

"Weird. Well, let's train for the battle festival" Walker suggested.

"I can see all kinds of colors..." Kalvin said, touching empty air.

**Next time on Unova ninja:**

**Kalvin: What are you doing, Jerry?**

**Jerry: Training my Oshawott**

**Kalvin: It looks like you want to date Esmerelda**

**Jerry: If she's interested**

**Kim: Oh, I'm back?**


	16. Oshawott Evolves

Pokemon Unova Expansion

Chapter 16: Oshawott Evolves

**Season 2**

"Been a long time training for this festival" Jerry remarked as he finished training Oshawott.

"Cap'n, what are you talking about? The author updated...um..."

"You can't even remember" Jerry sighed. "Whatever. The festioval starts tomorrow and I'm ready to go!" As he began walking down the district, Jerry got a wicked idea. A horrible, wicked idea. "I'll steal all the presents from whoville" he snickered loudly. "And soon they all will see."

"Cap'n, are you okay?" Chatot asked, confused.

"Dude, what the carrots?" Jerry asked, showing up near the two. "Hm? Chatot, what are you doing with this imposter?"

"Imposter?" Chatot exclaimed, looking at the imposter.

"You ARE good!" a girl giggled, taking off her Jerry costume.

"Esmerelda!" Jerry yelled. "Why were you dressed as me?"

"To take your bird" she said, snatching Chatot. "I want to test your power. If you refuse to battle, I'll make your bird watch hogan's heroes."

"That's not bad" Jerry said, grinning. "I remember watching that show myself."

"Did I say hogan's heroes? I meant the vampire diaries."

"No!" Jerry cried. "It's a battle. Go, Oshawott!" His pokemon appeared, ready to fight. "We need to rescue our comrade" Jerry explained. "Or else..." He shuddered and pointed at Esmerelda. "I don't care how attractive you are! I will save Chatot!"

"Cap'n...!" Chatot cried with tears of happiness. "Wait, since when am I russian?"

**Tj's Corner:**

"Welcome to Tj's corner!" TJ announced. "Today we'll discuss ancient warriors from asia and why Musashi Miyamoto is the greatest swordsman ever."

"Dude, stop interupting my battle!" Jerry yelled.

TJ frowned. "Jerry, this is my corner. And due to the law of pookemon, I can start my show during any segment of the chapter."

"What's a pookemon?" Jerry asked.

"That's called a funny typo that the author left in" TJ smiled. "Now Musashi Miyamoto never lost a duel, I think and he also participated in many wars. I think."

"You don't know?" Jerry asked.

"Can somebody hurry up help me?" Chatot screamed.

"Not now!" TJ and Jerry cried.

"I feel so alone" Chatot sighed.

**Showtime: **

Esmerelda grabbed a pokeball. "Your last victory was a fluke." She threw it into the fountain. "Go, Basculin!" The pirahna pokemon snapped his jaws.

"I'm just better than you" Jerry said. "Oshawott, use Razor Shell!" Oshawott took out his shell and tried to attack.

"Dive and Bite" Esmerelda said. Basculin dove underwater and Oshawott missed and fell in the fountain. Basculin came up and bit hard into Oshawott.

"Water Gun!" Jerry cried. Oshawott took out his water gun and fired a stream of water at the pirahna, getting it to let go.

"You may have gotten away from that attack" Esmerelda said. "But, you won't escape this one. Aqua Jet!" Basculin charged up with water and burst toward Oshawott, knocking the otter pokemon into the air.

"Oshawott, use Razor Shell to slam into Basculin" Jerry ordered. Oshawott grabbed his shell and slammed it into Basculin. Basculin hit the fountain water and was knocked out. Suddenly, Oshawott glowed with a bright light and evolved into Dewott. "Cool!" Jerry said, excited.

"Cap'n!" Chatot cried, flying away from Esmerelda. She folded her arms.

"You did a good job, Captain" she said in a flirty voice. "Next time, how about we make the battle a little more...personal?" She winked and jumped onto a row boat. "Later, captain." She returned her pokemon and rowed away.

"Cap'n, I think she likes you" Chatot remarked.

"I like her too" Jerry admitted. "I also like grilled cheese and bacon, video games and wrestling Ursaring."

"But, I think she likes you, likes you" Chatot explained.

"I can see that" Jerry replied. "Oh and Jenkins, come out of the bushes. I know you were trying to cameo." Jenkins jumped out of the bushes, looked both ways and fled.

**next battle!**

**TJ: It's time for battle, Flutey.**

**Jerry: You have a flute?**

**TJ: Yes I do have a flute. It's called Flutey.**

**Kalvin: I'm up against a girl named Emotion. I wonder what she's like?**

**Emotion: Hiya! I'm going to crush you Kalvin!**


	17. Ninja and Spartan Unite

Pokemon Unova Expansion

Chapter 17: Ninja and Spartan Unite

Trainers from around Unova were getting ready for the ultimate festival! That's right, the battle fe3stival was here. "I wonder where the others are" Walker mumbled, eating a doughnut. He caught sight of TJ. "Hey!"

"Sup" TJ said, walking over to him. "Like my new flute?" he asked, pulling it out from his backpack. "Flutey, meet Walker."

"Flutey?" Walker asked, trying not to laugh.

"What?" TJ asked, crossing his arms.

"Normally your names are wacky or a parody. This is is just sad for you."

"I'm not the one who named him" TJ explained. "I got him from an old street peddeler. I think he may or may not have been a pedophile because he kept trying to sell me maps."

"Old map guy is back?" Kalvin asked, walking toward them.

"Sounds like it" Walker said. "So, where are Hayley and Jerry?" They looked up as a huge blimp appeared and Jerry and Hayley skydived out of the blimp.

"That was cool!" someone in the crowd cried. "Want to buy a map of unova?"

"Nobody wants your maps, old man!" TJ yelled. He started to attack the old man, but a night stick slammed into his leg. "Owww!"

Kim grinned. "Looks like I got a sore spot."

"What are you doing here Kim?" Hayley asked.

"I was supposed to appear last chapter but Jenkins stole my cameo" she grumbled. "But, I'm back as the host for the unova battle festival. I'm also here by orders of chief quientin to find a duo of evil doers and arrest them." Rot N. Cheat and Snickers quickly fled the city. "Well, time to start so get ready to rumble!" Kim climbed on stage and took out her night stick.

"We'll decide the pairings with a game of name that tune" she said, watching the crowd. "Kidding, we see eight trainers ready to go so those eight will be battling and the rest of you will be the crowd. Our battles will be as follows!" She pointed to a screen and a picture of Kim singing to a pop idol song was shown. "Not that picture!" she whined. "Sorry folks. Here we are." The pairings chart revealed the opponents.

"Our first battle will be Kalvin vs Emotion!" Kalvin looked behind him to see a girl dressed in a battle suit. She cracked her knuckles and whispered, "you're going down." Kalvin gulped and quickly ate a gobstopper.

"Next is Jerry versus rush shizeman!" Jerry looked to see a lumberjack man holding a log.

"So, good luck" Jerry greeted. The lumberjack snorted.

"And then TJ and Jessica will battle!" Kim announced. TJ looked at Jessica and played his flute a little. Jessica responded by fingering knives on her belt.

"and hayley and walker will wrap it up" Kim explained. "Kalvin and Emotion, we need you onstage."

Kalvin and Emotion walked on stage. Kalvin sent out a Servine. "You look all tough but can you back it up?" he asked.

"I'll show you how tough I am!" she yelled. "Pidove, go!" She released the flying dove pokemon.

"FIGHT!" Kim cried. "I always wanted to do that" she replied.

"Servine, use Vine Whip!" Servine tried to whip Pidove, but the flying pokemon took the skies.

"You can expect a grass type to beat a flying pokemon" Emotion scoffed. "That's basic type disadvantage. "Pidove, Wing Attack!" Emotion ordered. Pidove flew downward and smacked a wing into Servine, knocking her off balance.

"What?" Kalvin asked, taking out his ear plugs. "I was listening to red hot chili peppers. Servine, leaf tornado!" Servine created a leafy tornado and smacked it toward Pidove.

"Double Team!" Emotion cried. Pidove dodged the attack by creating duplicating itself.

"Just like a ninja" Hayley sighed, in love with the move.

"You're wanting to do that, aren't you?" Walker asked.

"A ninja never reveals her screts!" Hayley screamed, taking out a smoke bomb. She threw it to the ground and the arena was covered in smoke. After eight minutes, the smoke cleared to find Pidove knocked out and Servine still standing.

"Servine wins!" Kim said. "How did she win, exactly?"

"A spartan never reveals his secrets" Kalvin explained. He winked at Hayley.

"How did you win?" Jerry whispered.

"I punched Pidove when the smoke covered the arena" Kalvin explained, laughing. "It only took a couple punchs and it was down."

**Next Chapter:**

**TJ: Am I up yet?**

**Jerry: No, me and Lumberjack are going to fight next**

**Walker: Is he really a lumberjack?**

**Rush Shizeman: (Russian accent) I will smash you like a boulder!**

**Jerry: Dewott, Razor Shell!**


	18. Soul Reaper Dewott

Pokemon Unova Expansion

Chapter 18: Soul Reaper Dewott

TJ held flutey as the next round began. He played a tune as Jerry and Rush Shizeman, the Russian lumberjack climbed on stage. Kim tapped her microphone."The second round will begin."

"Go, Timburr!" Rush shouted. He threw out his muscle pokemon. He was carrying a log.

"I'll use Dewott" Jerry announced. "Use Water Gun." Dewott took out his water gun and fired a round into Timburr's face.

"Splashing water is child's play!" Rush screamed. "I'll show you a true man's strength." He picked up a rock and crushed it with his fist. "I'm a fist lumberjack" he explained. "No need for an axe when my fist is as hard as steel."

Jerry smiled. "If that's what a man can do, then you aren't a man." He tossed a rubber chicken at Rush.

"Is this a rubber chicken?" Rush asked.

"Yes" Jerry said, dressed in a soul reaper uniform. "Meet Jerry Kenpachi!"

"He's lost it" Walker sighed.

"Meet my zanpakto! Double Razor Shell." Dewott pulled out two shells and they became blue blades as Dewott raced toward Timburr.

"Low Kick" Rush said calmly. Timburr held out a foot and slammed it into Dewott's leg, making him fall to the ground.

"Now! Water Gun!" Dewott took out his water bazooka and fired a major jet of water at Timbvurr from below, knocking him into the air. Timburr dropped his tree trunk.

"And Timburr drops his wood!" Kim announced. Everyone started to laugh, including Rush. "What? all I said was that Timburr has lost his wood..." Everyone laughed harder. "Very sick guys."

"Get up, Timburr!" Rush shouted. "Now it is time to use Wake-up Slap!" Timburr walked up to Dewott and slapped him in the face.

"You sdlapped my Dewott?" Jerry asked, frowning. "That was a mistake." Dewott put on a kenpachi costume and took out a shell shaped sword. "Razor Shell!" he yelled. Dewott slashed Timburr hard with his shell, knocking Timburr out of the arena.

"And Jerry wins!" Kim cried.

"It was so easy once he lost his wood" Jerry laughed.

"That's what she said" TJ chimed in. They both laughed as they exhanged places on stage. TJ faced his opponent, the gothic Jessica. "Me and Flutey are going to own you!" he trash talked. He soon found a knife in his flute. "Haq! It didn't break!" Jessica shrugged and threw another knife. TJ dodged and blocked a third with his flute. "Come on! I finally got an instrument that doesn't break easily." He threw out Darumaka.

"The world sucks anyway" Jessica said, throwing out Gothita.

"You must be fun at parties" TJ said. "Darumaka, let's knock this emo girl out with Uproar!" Darumaka began causing an uproar, making Jessica cover her ears.

"Ow. And I'm not emo, only gothic. There is a difference. Gothita, use Confusion." Gothita concentrated through the uproar and sent Darumaka flying with a powerful wave of energy.

"And Gothita gets the first real hit!" Kim yelled. "I'm almost at the edge of my podium!" She fell out of her podium. "Ouchie. I guess I was really at the edge of my podium." Jerry helped her up. "Thank you."

"Darumaka's uproar prevents me from using any other attacks" TJ said to himself, thinking. "Hayley, throw another smoke bomb!" Hayley checked her pockets.

"I'm out."

"Crap! Then I'll have to use my secret weapon." Taking out his book, The Art of War, he began to develop a counter plan. "Darumaka's uproar ended and he began to use the battle plan. "Dig a trench!" TJ yelled. Darumaka dug a small trench. "Good, now build a bridge." Darumaka took out some wood and build a bridge. "Now for a fence." Darumaka built a nice, steel fence. "Good, one more trench." Darumaka built another trench.

"What is the point of all this?" Jessica asked, her gothic face paint starting to run.

"Nothing. Use Fire Fang!" Darumaka bit into Gothita, causing severe burn damage. Gothita stumbled and the burn damage took its toll, knocking her out.

**Next Episode:**

**Walker: No pulling punches**

**Hayley: Right, I will totally win this**

**Walker: But, I'm going to win!**

**Hayley: I'm a ninja, remember? (Points to ninja certificate)**

**Chatot: What? I was excluded again? How am I getting forgotten? I make the show! (guards take him away while he screams)**


	19. Comedy Relief

Pokemon Unova Expansion

Chapter 19: Comedy Relief

"Here is the final battle of the first round!" Kim announced. "Walker vs Hayley, the ninja!" The two trainers and traveling friends walked on stage.

"I'm not going easy on you" Walker thought aloud.

"I can hear you" Hayley said, frowning. "I'm going to need a fountain."

"A fountain?" TJ asked. Hayley ran and grabbed the central fountain and placed it on stage.

"Go, Finneon!" She yelled. She threw out the fish pokemon.

Walker tossed out Pignite. "I'll let you go first, since you aren't the best trainer..."

"Water Pulse!" Hayley ordered. Finneon shot a blast of water at Pignite. Pignite was hit by the attack.

"Well" Walker frowned, embarressed. "Pignite, Flame Charge!" Pignite stamped his feet and his body became enveloped in fire. He raced at the fountain.

"Safeguard!" Hayley shouted. Finneon put on a veil of energy. Pignite slammed into the fountain and it broke apart.

"This chapter is too serious" Chatot announced, chewing on a piece of meat.

Jerry frowned. "Where did my hamburger go?"

"Um..." Chatot squaked. "Kalvin took it?"

"What the bacon?" Jerry asked, poking Kalvin with a phone.

"Why are you poking me with a phone?" Kalvin asked, annoyed.

"Why did you steal my meat?" Jerry asked.

"I didn't steal your meat" Kalvin exclaimed.

"Does anybody have any ketchup?" Chatot asked, holding out a wing. Jerry handed him some ketchup packets and continued arguing with Kalvin.

"My hamburger was right on my plate" he said, grumbling. "You stole it when I wasn't looking."

"Weren't you looking at it the whole time?" Kalvin asked.

"I could use some salt and lettucce" Chatot said. Jerry handed him some lettucce and salt. "Thanks, my burger was a little dry."

"See?" Jerry shouted, pointing at Chatot. "You don't see me stealing Chatot's burger...which Chatot didn't have...Give me my burger back!"

Chatot had already eaten it. "Yum!"

"Chatot, go buy me another burger." Jerry handed him twenty five dollars and a quarter. "Also buy me a milkshake and mocha latte."

"On it, Cap'n!" Chatot squaked, flying off with the money.

Walker and Hayley's battle had gotten intense. "Looks like one more hit could decide it!" Kim gasped, announcing. A car siren went off. "Who is messing with my car?" she yelled. The car siren quit beeping and the person trying to break into it fled in terror.

"Pignite, Ember!" Walker shouted. Pignite aimed a blast of fire at Finneon.

"Duck under the water and come back up when it passes for Water Pulse!" Hayley declared. Ember passed by a submerged finneon and the fish pokemon emerged and fired a water blast at Pignite. Pignite dodged and ran at Finneon.

"Flame Charge!" Walker commanded. Pignite busted into the fountain and defeated Finneon, knocking the fish onto the ground.

"Walker wins the battle" Kim announced. "The semi-finals will begin shortly. First up will be Kalvin and Jerry then TJ will fight Walker."

"Where is Chatot with my food?" Jerry asked. Chatot came back empty handed, winged.

"They were out, cap'n. Of everything."

"Really?" Jerry gasped.

"No, I ate your hamburger on the way over here, it was such a long flight and then I needed something to wash it down so I drank your mocha latte, but I burned my tongue and I needed your milkshake to wash it down. I gave your hotdog to a homless man in the park."

"It was a five minute walk to the stand" Jerry said, crossing his arms. "And I didn't ask you to buy a hotdog."

"Oh...you owe the vendor a dollar."

**TJ's Corner:**

"In today's lesson, we will be talking about cars."

"I like that movie alot" Jerry said, sunglasses on.

"No, not the movie. I was talking about cars and the pollution from them. We need more cost efficient cars."

"Oh, I agree!" Jerry shouted. "The popcorn is three dollars at the movie theater! That's almost as much as a gallon of gas for a car."

"I was trying to talk about cars..." TJ frowned. "The automobiles..."

"Larry the Cable Guy did an awesome job in that movie" Jerry explained. "But, why are you talking about movies? I have a better idea for a segment. How about talking about cars the automobiles that you drive around? Some of them really pollute the environment."

"I give up!" TJ screamed, stomping off stage.

**tj's corner end:**

**Next Time:**

**Walker: This battle is heating up!**

**Jerry: Kalvin, is that your garbage pokemon? That pokemon stinks!**

**Kalvin: How dare you insult my pokemon?**

**Jerry: It's a garbage joke**

**Kalvin: Garbodor, Acid Spray!**


	20. Corny Puns

Pokemon Unova Expansion

Chapter 20: Corny Puns

Jerry and Kalvin faced each other on the stage. "This is it, my friend" Jerry said. "We've tried to avoid it, but...it was destiny."

"Fate" Kalvin agreed, wiping a tear from his eye.

"Hurry up!" someone shouted from the crowd.

"We're trying to make it dramatic" Jerry explained, releasing Woobat.

"Helloooooo nurse!" Chatot exclaimed.

"This isn't the time to flirt" Jerry explained. He looked at his watch. "Now it is."

"Garbodor can easily take out your flying bat" Kalvin said, releasing his garbage pokemon.

"We'll see" Jerry said with a sly smile. "Woobat, use Heart Stamp."

"She can stamp my..." Chatot started to say.

"Chatot, this is serious" Jerry commanded. "So stop interupting the battle. After I win, then you can flirt."

"Understood, Cap'n!" Chatot said. "Why are you mad at me?"

"You ate my hamburger!" Jerry shouted.

"It was an accident!" Chatot yelled.

"Are you done?" Kalvin asked. "Garbodor, use Acid Spray." Garbodor fired acid at Woobat. "That attack also lowers the opponent's special defense" he explained.

"Then we'll use Air Cutter to hit from a distance" Jerry suggested. Woobat flapped her wings and wind blades danced across the sky. They slammed into Garbodor, who screamed.

"Must have Weak Armor" Walker replied. He thumbed through his guidebook. "Weak Armor is an ability that comes into effect when the pokemon is hit by an attack. It lowers its defense a little, but makes up for it with a slight speed boost."

"That's cool" Jerry said. "Woobat, Heart Stamp!" Woobat flew in close and tried to hit Garbodor with her heart shaped nose, but Garbodor dodged and used Doubleslap to smack her away.

"That's my garbage pokemon" Kalvin said with pride. He rubbed his nose.

"Don't get cocky" Jerry grumbled.

"I'm not, my nose itches."

Jerry smirked. "I've got an idea. Woobat, fly circles around Garbodor, but don't hit him." Woobat nodded and flew around Garbodor alot.

"What are you doing?" Kalvin asked.

"I'm going to confuse him and then attack" Jerry announced. "Woobat, use Air Cutter!" Woobat flew back a little and then slammed wind blades into Garbodor, knocking his defense down again and Garbodor got a little faster.

"That only makes it tougher for you to hit him" Kalvin said, eating from a bag of corn.

"You have a bag of corn?" Jerry asked, disappointed.

"You want some?" Kalvin asked.

"Yeah!"

"Nope."

Jerry pointed and made a sour face. "Chatot, go get me that bag!"

"I got it, Cap'n!" Chatot squaked. He flew at Kalvin and snatched the bag.

"Now that you've lost you corn..." Jerry smiled. "...I can take down your Garbodor. Heart Stamp!" Woobat flew and smacked Garbodor in the chest with her nose. The super effective attack, coupled with the defense being lowered, knocked him out.

"Jerry wins the battle and a bag of corn!" Kim announced.

"Whooo! Victory to corn!"

**A message from our sponsers:**

Have you ever had a cold? We all have. It sucks, doesn't it? Well, suffer no more thanks to the portable Cubchoo! This icy pokemon has a cold all year 'round. How does it help you with your cold? It doesn't. But, at least you would have a cute pokemon to look at while your sneezing.

**next chapter:**

**TJ: Flutey and me are going to win the whole thing**

**Walker: Have we gotten off topic? What about the next gym battle?**

**Jerry: I agree, we need to go to Eastern Unova**

**Hayley: Ninja see, ninja smell**

**N: Team Plasma will cancel this show**


	21. Getting to Fifth Base

Pokemon Unova Expansion

Chapter 21: Getting to Fifth Base

"In the final semi-final fight, we have TJ and Walker will clash!" Kim announced. Both trainers walked on stage.

"I'm going to take you down!" TJ yelled. "Flutey says we're going to bring the house down!"

Walker blinked. "Flutey says? That thing can talk?"

"You're calling baby flutey a thing?" TJ asked, cradling Flutey in a baby outfit.

"That's really creepy!" Hayley, Kalvin and Walker cried.

TJ threw out his Darumaka. "We will see, Walker, who is the creepy one..."

"You are being very creepy" Walker sighed. "Almost as creepy as that salesman who tried to sell Jerry a Magikarp.

**Flashback: (I'm back!)**

Jerry was in Johto, looking at something in Ecruteak City. A shady man appeared, dressed in a black coat and black hat. "Kid, are you looking for a Magikarp?"

"Uh...no, I want this Carsmo" Jerry said.

"Yeah! Somebody wants to buy me!" Carsmo yelled happily. "Wait, somebody wants to buy me! Oh no! I'm too inexpensive!" The green car with eyes and a fairy hat was going crazy. Suddenly, a pink, female fairy poofed into the store and poofed Carsmo and herself out.

"This Magikarp is high quality" the shady man grinned. "It was caught by the seaside of a river bank."

"There is no seaside of a riverbank" Jerry explained. "And I don't want your Magikarps."

"What about a nice, Russian Maguikarp?"

"Hmmm. I don't want a magikarp, but a Maguikarp might be interesting. I'll buy it!"

**Flashback End: (awww...)**

"I didn't realize it was still a magikarp" Jerry explained, still on stage.

"Where is that Maguikarp?" Chatot asked.

"I threw it in some lake."

"Brilliant, Cap'n" Chatot squaked while clapping.

"Can you both get off stage?" Walker asked, holding out a pokeball. He released Pignite.

"Fire Fang!" TJ cried.

"Defense Curl!" Walker countered defensively. Pignite picked up a counter and used it like a baseball bat to swat Darumaka away like a baseball. "I didn't mean to counter it with a counter..."

"Going...going..." Kalvin reported from inside a booth. "...Gone! A homerun for team Walker! Run the bases, Walker."

"This isn't baseball..." Walker tried to explain.

"Run the bases or I'll stab you with Pen stabs alot!" Kalvin yelled, picking up purple pen. Walker placed four bases down and began running the four bases. When he finished, Darumaka had fallen down and Jerry was questioning his base running.

"Where is fifth base?" Jerry asked.

"There is no fifth base" Walker explained.

"Oh really?" Jerry asked, counting the bases. "First base, second base, third base, fourth base and home plate."

"Fourth base is home plate" Walker sighed.

"No it isn't, dood" Jerry argued, dressed in prinny suit.

"Ah! A penguin!" Hayley cried, dressing up as a ninja. "Ninjas and penguins are mortal enemies and have been fighting for years.

**Commercial:**

Ninjas! Penguins! They have nothing to do with each other. Except that they are both in this new movie. Ninjas vs Penguins! When ninjas battle for the polar ice caps, it gets bloody. With ketchup, because all ninjas eat from burger king. And the penguins use their smarts and icy terrain to gain an advantag. Ninjas vs Penguins, coming to a theater never!

**End Commercial:**

"Let's just continue the battle" TJ said.

"Not yet" Walker argued. "Jerry is wrong about this. There is no fifth base. There is only four."

"I know dude, I was only messing with you so TJ would have a chance to defeat you."

"I argue too much!" Walker sighed. "I can't seem to out argue you...you what?" Darumaka's Fire Fang had burnt Pignite. "Pignite, Arm Thrust!" Pignite began slamming his fists into Darumaka, sending him almost out of the ring. "I'm about to win!" Walker gloated.

"WALKER!" Whitney yelled happily, skipping on stage. She had a purse of flowers and she dug inside, handing everybody a flower. Then, she dug inside and took out a mallet when she got to Walker. "Happy anniversary!" she yelled with hearts in her eyes, slamming the twenty pound mallet into Walker's back. Walker went flying into Kalvin's booth which was in a blimp.

"I'm going to have to ask you to pay for the damages" Kalvin said, leaving out the door and down the long stairway.

"Since Walker cannot continue to battle" Kim announced. "TJ is the winner by default." Everybody clapped except Walker, who was upset at losing and being hugged by Whitney, Whitney, who was hugging Walker and rescuing Walker from the blimp and Kim, who was booing him off stage.

"Looks like I'll be battling you in the next round" TJ said to Jerry.

"Well, we could battle" Jerry decided. "Or, you could crown me the winner and I'll give you a new flute."

"Why would I need a new flute" TJ asked. Jerry took it from his hands and threw it somewhere far away.

"Because you lost yours" Jerry laughed.

"...you're a jerk" TJ said with laugh. "But, I will need a new flute."

"I don't have any money" Jerry announced. "Chatot spent it all on a blow up doll."

Chatot looked up from his blow up doll of a Pidgey. "We all have needs" he said quietly. "And mine was to use this blow up doll to make a balloon." He showed the new pidgey balloon. "I bet you pervs thought...sickos! Cap'n, you knew what I was doing, right?"

Jerry stopped looking at a girl walking down the street. "Huh? Sorry,l I was distracted by something in a yellow polkadot bikini."

"Jerry wins the tournament!" KIm announced, throwing her microphone. "I hate this job! I quit."


	22. Artistic Approach

Pokemon Unova Expansion

Chapter 22: Artistic Approach

"Commander, we're going in" a grey mouse said, entering a contraption that looked suspisious.

"Be careful, private!" a blue mouse ordered, sighing. "Bacon bits, he's caught." The grey mouse was trapped by a cage.

"This game sucks!" Hayley yelled, throwing her yellow mouse down and storming off.

"The cap'n said it would be fun to play Mousetrap" Chatot frowned.

"It is fun" Jerry agreed. "Espessially since Kalvin got caught."

"I wasn't trying to" Kalvin grunted. "This game is rigged."

"You said that about go fish as well" Walker said.

"And ring around the rosie" TJ smirked.

"We never played ring around the rosie" Jerry said. Everyone looked at TJ.

"Ok, so I played it with some children across the street, big deal. Guys, I'm going to challenge the gym leader so we can leave this city." He got up and walked off, leaving Jerry, Kalvin, Chatot and Walker to play a new game.

"I was thinking rock, paper, chili" Walker requested.

"Rock paper...chili?" Jerry asked.

"Instead of scissors, you burn the other people's hands off with boiling, hot chili" Walker explained.

"I like that idea!" Kalvin cried, having a pot already made.

"When did you...?" Jerry asked.

**Flashback:**

Jerry and Kalvin were trying to prank Hayley by replacing her foot rest with a whoopie cusion. During that time, Kalvin snuck away and whipped up a batch of chili, mixing in ingredients such as bird seed and soup broth. "Chili ala' Kalvin" he sighed, sniffing the aroma.

**End Flashback:**

"That's where my food went!" Chatot squaked. "I'm going to start up an angry mob." Suddenly, a Farfetch'd appeared, flying toward them. It stopped next to Kalvin, took out his stick and whacked him in the head.

"That stupid bird again!" Kalvin screamed, running away as Farfetch'd chased after it.

"I can't believe he has to run away from that bird again" Walker laughed. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a barrel with a "B" logo on it edging closer to him.

"Dude, I think that barrel is moving toward you" Jerry said, turning on a radio. The jaws theme began to play and Chatot lifted the lid to discover...a bunch of foam?

"It's just foam!" Chatot cried. "I love foam!" As he tried to dive head first into the foamy goodness, Whitney burst out and hugged Walker.

"Hellooooo hubby!" she said with a sigh.

"Ahhhh! My Whitney alram system is broken. I really am going to let that Coyote have it if I go back to the desert." He pushed Whitney off and began running away.

"Cap'n, should we do TJ's Corner today?" Chatot asked.

"Of course, but not yet. Not...yet."

**Scene Change:**

TJ walked into the bug gym leader's gym, noticing a complicated cocoon maze with cocoon elevators. "This has more twists and turns than Rainbow Road!" TJ began walking up the paths and avoiding trainers until he reached Burgh.

"So, you like my artistic gym design?" Burgh asked, taking out a paintbrush.

"Um...sure?" TJ asked.

"That's so sweet of you to say, fellow art critic. Get it? I'm making a pun to honey, which is related to bees whihc are bugs, which I use in my gym battles." He threw out two pokeballs at the same time. "Go, Karrablast! Shellmet!" The two, knight styled bug pokemon appeared, ready for battle.

"I'm going to mop the floor with...this mop!" TJ declared. He mopped up the gym floor to be neat and sent out Darumaka and Pachirisu. "Darumaka! Pachirisu!" The fire, round ball pokemon and his electric, chipmunk partner prepared for battle. "Darumaka, use..."

**Chatot's Corner:**

"What?" TJ cried, staring at Jerry. "This is my segment!"

"Not anymore" Jerry laughed. "Chatot bought you out so now he owns half of your show."

"It was hard work getting money" Chatot frowned, sighing. "But, the life of a prostitute is hard. Luckily, I'm not a prostitute and I only stole the money from some old lady who stole it from Walker."

"But, you interupted my gym battle" TJ frowned.

"How does it feel?" Jerry asked, staring at TJ with angry eyes. "Is it fun? Is it fun when your battle gets interupted?" He laughed and got out of his seat. "I'm screwing with you, man. Chatot doesn't own half of your show and I just wanted to interupt your battle. Good luck with beating Burgh."

"Thanks, now as for today's subject on TJ's corner..."

**show's Back:**

"Darumaka, use Fire Fang!" Darumaka bit down into Shellmet.

"That's not very...artistic" Burgh complained. "You have to attack with style, this is an art battle, remember? Shellmet and Karrablast, use Struggle Bug!" The two bugs began to struggle against their opponent's making themselves look quite poetic.

"What move is that?" TJ asked.

"Struggle Bug is a bug type move that not only does damage, but also lower's the target's special attack power" Burgh explained.

"Then I'll have to use Spark!" TJ smiled. "Pachirisu's Spark attack is a physical damage move so it's attack force. "Pachisirus, attack Shellmet with Spark." Pahirisu charged up with electric energy and charged toward Shellmet, hitting it with an electric charge.

"Urg, that's really un-artistic!" Burgh frowned, grunting his displeasure at TJ's battling style. "Where is your grace? Your momentum? Your...?"

"Off switch!" TJ yelled, pointing at Burgh. "You don't have one, do you? Darumaka, Uproar!" Darumaka raised the roof with it's loud uproar. The sound damage both of Burgh's super bugs.

"Mega Drain, Shellmet!" Burgh cried. "Karrablast, use Aerial Ace! Both of you, aim for Darumaka!" The two attacks headed for Darumaka.

"Electro Ball" TJ said calmly. Pachirisu gathered energy in her tail and firing them back. Karrablast and Shellmet were knocked out and TJ won the third gym badge.


	23. Sand Crocodile Catch

Pokemon Unova Expansion

Chapter 23: Sand Crocodile Catch

The group finally left Castelia City and was on route to Route 4. "Once we get through the desert route, we'll be in Nimbasa City" Walker said, reading from his map.

"We had a map of Unova this whole time?" Hayley asked, gasping. "Why didn't we use it?"

"It was more fun to enjoy the sights and...I just bought it" Walker frowned. A snady crocodile appeared, coming up from the sand and Jerry looked at his Pokedex.

"That's a Sandile!" he exclaimed. "He's not a replacement for Jack, bvut..." He took out a pokeball.

"He's also not a he" Walker smiled. "That's a female."

"I know exactly what I'm going to name her" Jerry said. "Big Bertha."

"Big Bertha?" Walker asked. "Well, at least it isn't as bad as Puffy."

"Where is Bonzo, anyway?" Kalvin asked.

"I don't know..."

**Meanwhile:**

"Gonna buy a banjo in Castelia City!" TJ sang. He didn'y notice Chatot flying beside him until he yelled through a bullhorn.

"YO! Music freak!" Chatot yelled.

"Ahhh!" TJ yelled.

"What? Was the Bullhorn too much?" Chatot asked. "Maybe I could have used a mega phone, but I couldn't get any bars." He waited for laughter.

"Why are you here, Chatot?" TJ asked.

"The author was unhappy when I one hitted him in a wifi battle" Chatot smiled. "So the Cap'n got him to reinstate my contract. I am now supposed to appear in every chapter for at least season 2 and season 3. I may even get my own, special chapter in the future. Or a nice, spinoff series. I heard spinoffs do really well."

"I'm here too!" Bonzo the clown appeared beside the group, also using a bullhorn.

"Ahhh!" TJ and Chatot screamed.

"Was the bullhorn too much?" Bonzo asked, chuckling. "So, where's Walker? He was supposed to give me the latest edition of Puffy News today. Puffy was hoping to read it. Right, Puffy?" He looked at his pokeball.

"I still find him creepy" TJ whispered to Chatot.

"Time for TJ's corner" Chatot whispered.

**TJ's corner:**

TJ walked on stage and looked at the people watching. "Today, we are here to talk about something fantastic. No, not Fantastic Mr. Fox, he's in jail. We're going to talk about something called Pocket Monsters, something entirely different from Pokemon. You see, a Pocket Monster is a monster that lives in a Pocket Ball and may or may not be stored in your pocket. Examples of Pocket Monsters include, but are not limited to, Peekachu, Charmelon, Squirtel and Bulbasour. One of the most infamous Pocket Monsters is called EV. Chatot, a picture please." Chatot placed a picture of Eevee on the screen. "It looks like Eevee, but as you can see, it is spelled EV and is thus, not a Pokemon. That's all we have for now, hope you enjoyed..."

"Can I help?" Bonzo asked.

**Showtime:**

"Jerry, you sent out Oshawott five minutes ago" Hayley said. "Are you going to battle Sandile or not?"

"Uh...right, sorry. I was updating my Twitter." He showed off his laptop. "Dewott Razor Shell!" he exclaimed. Dewott jumped and did a somersault, shell extending into an sword. He slammed the sword into Sandile, causing her to growl in pain. Sandile then sent a sandstorm at Dewott, catching the otter in a sandy trap.

"I see" Walker said, looking up Serebii. "Sandile's ability is Intimidate, which lowers the attack of the pokemon it battles first. Meaning Dewott's Razor Shell was less powerful and even with the super effective damage, it still left her with enough energy to use Sand Tomb."

"That sneaky croc!" Jerry gasped. "Dewott, hit it again with Razor Shell" Jerry said. Sandile shot mud into Dewott's eyes and he missed. "Must be Mud Slap" Jerry muttered. "Razor Shell!" Dewott turned and slammed his shell into Sandile, knocking her out. "Pokeball, go! Capture Sandile." He threw a pokeball at Sandile and in three seconds, he had captured the sand croc. "I captured Big Bertha!" Jerry shouted.

Meanwhile, Team Plasma grunts were reporting their every move. "Yeah N, looks like they're going to head to Nimbasa City. Should we ambush them?"

"No" N said via comlink. "Divert them to the Desert Ruins."


	24. Up in Arms

Pokemon Unova Expansion

Chapter 24: Up in Arms

"There's a detour to Nimbasa City within the desert" TJ said. He looked at the fork in the path. "Guys, I'm going to go this way. The detour says it's quicker."

"TJ, that looks like a trap" Chatot said.

"Why do you say that, bird?"

"It says Team Plasma rote this" Chatot explained. "And they spell bad too."

"You're lying so that I will get lost by going the other way and everyone will laugh and my banjo will get crushed" TJ frowned.

"You still have a banjo?" Chatot asked.

"Banjo Poof is a magic banjo" TJ whispered. "I've already used two for world peace and a subway in Castelia."

"Did they happen?" Chatot asked.

"No."

"Then it isn't magic" Chatot squaked. As he flew away, Chatot looked back at TJ, who went west. "Go west, young TJ."

TJ walked until he came to a desert ruin where he found KIm, dressed in an archeological outfit. "You lost your job?" he asked.

"They were shorthanded and Chief Quintin reccomended me for a job looking for a fossil pokemon. It's called Tirtouga and is in a cover fossil. Where's everyone else?"

"They went the wrong way" TJ said, smiling. "There was a detour and..." They walked into the desert ruins together, arm and arm.

"Why are we locking arms?" Kim cried, trying to break free.

"We're...stuck!" TJ yelled.

"Our stick like glueinator works" a male team plasma grunt shouted in joy.

"You'll be stuck like that for a few minutes while we free your pokemon" a female team plasma grunt grinned. They both sent out a Liepard and a Watchog. "By the way, we need to thank that crazy scientist. He should be fighting a platypus right now."

"We may as well fight while we can" TJ suggested. "Darumaka!" He threw out his pokemon.

"We'll take them down together!" Kim suggested, throwing out Chingling. "Use Confusion on Watchog!" she suggested. Chingling wiggled cutely in the air before using a devastatingly powerful attack to knock Watchog back a bit.

"That's all?" the female plasma grunt snapped, surprised. "Watchog, use Confuse Ray!" Watchog began reading off ev and iv training.

"My brain can't process!" TJ yelled.

"It hurts, it hurts" Kim cried, hiding in the corner. "Wait, we're free?"

"Wow" TJ said, "well, I guess it time we went seperate ways." he joked. "It's not you, it's me."

"Not funny" Kim said, rolling her eyes. "Why don't you quit acting like a moron and start battling?"

"Soon" TJ said. "But, first..."

**tj's corner:**

"No time for that!" Kim yelled as Watchog lunged.

"Darumaka, Fire Punch!" TJ shouted. Darumaka's fist became fire and it rolled toward Watcog. Liepard came at Darumaka in mid-air and used Fury Swipes to knock him away.

"I'm your opponent" the male team plasma grunt grunted. "Liepard, Torment." Liepard poked DFarumaka on the head and kept poking him until he screamed in anguish.

"Hey! Stop tormenting my...oh, that's torment...never mind" Tj said, frowning. "Darumaka, Fire Punch!" Darumaka's became a fire fist and then...it didn't. It was fazed out. "What? But, how?" TJ asked. His cell phone got a ring and he picked it up. "Hello?"

"Yo! This is Hayley! Chatot said you got lost, dude. You missed Walker's lesson on the move Torment. He said it prevnts your pokemon from using the same move twice in a row. Later." She hung up and TJ, fuming, chose a different tactic.

"Uproar!" Darumaka shouted at the cieling and it began to collapse, almost burying them alive.

"Let's go, TJ!" Kim yelled, taking his arm and leading him outside. The building collapsed and the Team Plasma grunts used an assault vehicle to get away. The Desert Resort Castle fell through and was soon a pile of sand.

"Whoops. Guss that fossil is lost" TJ sighed. Just as he was heading out, he realised his banjo was missing. "Banjo Poof!" he yelled, jumping into the sand. Instead of a banjo, he found a rocky fossil.

"That's the cover fossil!" Kim screamed. "And just to remind you that you almost killed us, you're going to keep it."


	25. Jenkins's Affair?

Pokemon Unova Expansion

Chapter 25: Jenkins's Affair?

"Is TJ lost?" Walker asked as they made it to Nimbasa City.

"He went west into a team plasma trap" Chatot squaked, out of breath.

"He will catch up with us" Hayley said. "By the way, Walker, your lesson on Torment was really insightful."

"Too bad TJ missed it" Walker said, sighing. Suddenly, a flying squirrel pokemon landed on his head. "Huh? Is that a...Emolga?"

"Is that Jenkins?" Jerry asked, pointing to a Mr. Mime.

"No...but that is!" Hayley gasped. She pointed to a man next to Mr. Mime, a mime called Jenkins. "And he's next to a girl! He must be cheating on Mrs. Jenkins!"

"He can't do that, he loves her" Jerry cried. "I mean, we can only assume since he has a baby. We've never really met her, but...let's go, Hayley. We need to stop Jenkins from making a huge mistake by...spying!"

"Hold on, I need to call TJ" Hayley said, dialing on her cell phone.

"So, dude, is that N?" Kalvin asked. He pointed to a park bench.

"Are you high?" Walker asked.

"No...maybe...um, I plead the fourth."

"It's the fifth Kalvin" Walker said.

"Fifth what?"

N showed up behind him. "Only two of you? I guess the others are lost in the desert."

"Only TJ" Walker frowned. "I see you showed up, N."

"I have a new plan to cancel your show" N said, taking out a pokeball. "I'll cancel you by force!" He sent out his new pokemon, a poison bug.

"Venipede!"

"I'll use...Chipy" Walker decided. "Yeah, your new name is Chipy." Chipy flew off his head. "Use Thundershock!" Chipy shocked Venipede with electricty bolts.

"Venipede, counter with Defense Curl." Venipede rolled into a ball, then gained new defense power. "Now Rollout." Venipede rolled at Chipy, but the elctric squirrel flew upward. Not one to be outdone, Venipede rolled up a building and slammed into Emolga.

"Chipy!" Walker shouted.

"Your pokemon isn't strong enough to defeat my Venipede" N scoffed. "Your show is canceled. Your misuse of pokemon and joking about them is over! Venipede, Poison Sting!" Venipede shot four poison quills at Chipy as it was falling.

"Quick Attack!" Walker yelled. Emolga caught itself and dodged the poison sting attack. It flew at Venipede and rammed into it.

"That's not bad" N smiled. "But, Venipede has yet to fight. Use...!"

"Chipy, Tail Whip" walker said calmly. Emolga whipped it's tail around.

Meanwhile, Jerry and Hayley were at the amusement park, watching Jenkins talk to the mysterious girl. "You thionk they are having an...you know?" Jerry asked.

"A what?" Hayley asked.

"An...affair?" he asked again, quietly.

"What?" Chatot asked.

"An affair!" he yelled, catching everyone's attention. "Um...Chatot said it."

"What?" he squaked.

"Jenkins and the girl are on the run." Hayley reported.

"We are going to follow" Jerry said. He had a stealth helicopter. "I've been playing alot of war plane games okay? I didn't steal this one, Durst let me borrow it."

"He was here?" Hayley asked.

"You just missed him" Jerry replied. "He said he payed for this amusement park to be built and came to check it out. He also gave me five bucks for a brand new copy of Call of Duty: Magmortar Warfare 2." They got into the helicopter and sped after the pair.

"How could I have lost to another Quick Attack?" N asked, confused.

"The skipping between our battle and Jerry and Hayley's madventures means that the chance of cheating to win increases" Walker smiled. "You lost, N. Now leave." He scanned Chipy with his pokedex. "You're a girl?" she nodded and flew on his head. "Chipy, would you like to come travel with me?" She responded by grabbing one of his pokeballs and going inside.

"I'll come back with a greater plan to steal the show" he grumbled, leaving. Kalvin had been staring at a cloud when TJ stomped on his foot.

"Hey. Sorry, but I needed to take out some aggression." Kalvin responded by dumping all of TJ's hot sauce into the fountain in the center of town. "Not that! The Nimbasa City Hot Sauce Party!"

"Where were you?" Kalvin asked.

"I was...! Let me explain. I was glued to Kim, almost killed in a burial of an anicent castle and I got a fossil pokemon that I can't even use. Yet."

"Cool" Kalvin replied. "So, does anyone else see a Unicorn?" He saw a blue unicorn Pokemon in the distance. TJ looked and shook his head.

"No, you must be higher than usual. Unicorns don't exist."

"Then...never mind, maybe I am high." The unicorn pokemon jumped as it sprinted away. "Jerry? Hayley? What are you two doing in here?"

"Turns out the girl was Jenkins's real estate broker and we scared her off so Jenkins and his family aren't going to be living in a different region" Jerry frowned. "I really thought he was having an affair."

"He's a mime" hayley reminded him. "So he wouldn't be able to say anything to her anyway."

"True. Hey TJ, you look like you almost got buried under rocks and sand."


	26. Chapter 26

Pokemon Unova Expansion

Chapter 26: Chapter 26

"Nimbasa City's western show will begin shortly" Kim announced, being stationed to watch for suspisious activity.

"We're going to steal a wagon" Jerry whsipered to the group. "We need to distract Kim first though."

Chatot was on his shoulder. "You think we should wait till october for season 3 of Unova Expansion so the author can play video games all day?"

Jerry frowned. "No, he's being a lazy person."

"Plus, he sucks at dynamite" Walker agreed. "What's the plan, boss?"

"Walker, you're going to help me steal the cart. Bring Chipy with you. Hayley and TJ will go and distract Kim by telling them a crime is in prgoress from team plasma. And Kalvin...you're going to be N. Or at least a member of team plasma."

"You've got to be kidding me" Kalvin exclaimed.

Walker and Jerry were already on the move, hiding behind boxes and around corners, waiting for the right moment to steal the wagon. "It's been so long since the last chapter, the author forgot about the humor and recurring jokes" Chatot squaked.

"Or how to make the chapters funny" Walker agreed. "This is not his usual style, breaking the fourth wall so much."

"That's what he gets for waiting so long to update" Jerry laughed.

Hayley ran up to Kim. "It's horrible. A crime is in progress! team plasma stole our pokemon!"

"What?" Kim asked. They ran off with Tj and found Kalvin in team plasma clothes, holding TJ's violin.

"Look at this...he stole TJ's vio...linly?" Hayley asked.

"Is this a joke?" Kim sighed.

"That's my violinly!" TJ roared, tackling Kalvin. "Give it back!"

"It's me!" Kalvin cried, taking off the costume and revealing an italian plumber suit.

Kim turned as she saw the wagon being driven by two unlikely criminals. "Jerry and Walker stole the wagon!"

Jerry was in the drivers seat while Walker was drinking root beer from the can. "Dude, wagony is going fast. A little too fast!" They crashed into an old building.


End file.
